Bringing in the Harvest

A Snippet

I have a sucky camera, sometimes it doesn't work. When it does work the batteries often decide to die. But I try and bring it places anyway to capture wee snippets of my life and the people in it.

Renee-the-roommate and I getting groceries at Superstore


















Katie and I went to the dog park by the University of Manitoba. Here is Katie and IV playing fetch.
























And last, but not least...my sister and soon-to-be niece or nephew. I got to feel them kicking, like 5 whole times! It was incredible. I've already read "Snuffy the Dog" to the stomach and I think we are ready to try some Jane Austen next.

Storm after the calm.

I just started working as a recreation facilitator at a nursing home. I am only a casual which means my hours are generally unknown, although I've been spending a lot of time the last couple of weeks getting to know the residents (there are over 150) and learning what each one likes in their coffee or tea. And for some, their preference changes quickly, like the gentleman who always asks for sugar in his tea, and then proclaims moments later that it is too sweet and he would like a fresh cup.

I've quickly been gaining a collection of hilarious one-liners from certain residents at my new job...here is a small sampling:

Male resident whistles at me.

Me: "Did you just whistle at me?"

Resident: "No"...(Long Pause)..."I whistled at your rear-end."


Male resident states that his pants are falling down
Another female resident nearby responds: "Oh Goody, a bum!"

I just realized that both of these one-liners refer to the butt....next time I will try and have more variety.

I am thankful for this job.

Being busy with work has been a refreshing if somewhat exhausting change from my lovely hiatus. It has also been a wee bit stressful, and my body has succumbed to a germ and as a result I am sick and cankersore ridden. I am also grumpy, which is an even less endearing quality, but in the spirit of honesty and vulnerability, I feel like sharing.

Grumpy, sick Jennie crawls under her fuzzy green blanket and thinks about how nice it would be to live closer to her mother, so that she could have tea made for her, someone to tuck in the blankets and remind her to gargle with salt water.

Grumpy, sick Jennie watches Grey's Anatomy.

Grumpy, sick Jennie wishes she had a vanilla milkshake, even though she knows the sugar would likely just prolong the illness.

Grumpy, sick Jennie wishes she had caught the right bus this morning so that she could sit beside the cute boy, instead of catching the wrong bus and having to run 10 blocks to work.

Grumpy, sick Jennie likes this music, even though it reminds her about the reality of Manitoba winters, as depicted below by The Wilderness of Manitoba.



Don't worry. It's still Autumn. For now.

It's a sleepy Friday evening, with gray skies and swaying trees.

I am about to commence a baking spree tonight. On the agenda is a recipe called, "Pretty Little Brownie Bites" compliments of The Pioneer Woman.

These Autumn Days

"It's close to hopeless,
for what I want to say the red-bird
has said already, and better, in a
thousand trees."

-Mary Oliver



Anyone want to go on a nature walk?

The Acorn is one of my favourite bands to listen to during the Autumn season.

I like corn.

I start work in a week.

I watched Whip It the other day and liked it muchly.

I miss Nelson in the fall.

"I am struck by how sharing our weakness and difficulties is more nourishing to others than sharing our qualities and successes." -Jean Vanier (Community and Growth)

Back with a bang.

It was raining yesterday as I made my way out of the airport with bags in tow. I paused to get my jacket out of my suitcase, and then I dashed across the street to catch the bus. The bus came, and I ran, and my shoe went flying, and my knee went bang. I "oooof'ed" as my luggage flew about, and the bus driver smiled sweetly and handed me a transfer.

I recommend Green Tea and Kathryn Calder in a patch of sun...cheap therapy for public humiliation.

It is September 2010. I thought I would dread this day. I thought I would wish back past days. I thought I would want to go to school forever. But in reality, I am thrilled that this year will include paper work that will reap financial stability as opposed to letter grades. My well-wishes for those of you about to embark upon another year of academic ventures. May you fare better than I.

Season Poem

Can it be the changing of seasons has already begun? I sit under a warm blanket with my cup of tea, looking into the parking lot of my parent's new townhouse complex. It is +15 here in Kamloops and I have cold hands. Can you hear the crackle of change in the air? It is frightening and exciting and inevitable. I welcome this next season of life. I look forward to whatever the heck it is that I will encounter. Although I hope that it includes some of my favourite things, such as music and tea, laughter and friends, last trips to the farmers market, harvesting my wee garden, and planting bulbs for next spring's enjoyment.

"I’ve never been the one to shout because I listen
I don’t like to raise my voice
Maybe I should learn to lose my inhibitions
and let my feelings make some noise
You don’t know what I’m going through
When silence is all I give to you"
Jack Savoretti - from "Between the Minds"

Goin' West

I am flying back to BC in two days. Not to my hometown, but to a different city, with different people and far less beautiful scenery. My parents are moving tomorrow, and I am going to meet them in Kamloops to provide some muscle. Don't worry, I will do push-ups on the plane.

This is how I plan to amuse myself while visiting this fair city.


Oh yeah.

"You said this is a used up world
You follow the river and your home is in the mountains
You've forgotten your questions lost your purpose
The beauty is gone
and this house still smells and sounds like you
all your pillows and records"
-Aidan Hawken

*I'm listening to Peter Katz tonight.

*I have cold fingers.

*I am thinking about how much I want a pan of my sister's homemade Nanaimo bars.

Monday morning

Do you ever feel anxious, or uneasy, or uncertain, or just plain out of sorts?

I'm having one of those days.

But I don't want to talk about my blah stomach feeling anymore...I avoid.

Wanna see what I got for my birthday?

Yes you do...

A tea set from Sasha


















A herb planter from Sasha


















A flower pot from Sasha























A Chinese mug from Larisa...























A felted purse that my mom made (please pardon the terrible self-portrait...my camera is on permanent zoom).























*Unpictured: Flowers, a pottery dish, and Donna's soaps that I got from my sister (all of which can be found at the local farmer's market), as well as a Starbucks gift card from Renee.

What lovely people I know.

In other news, I have had the pleasure of visiting with old friends the last couple of days...in particular, Allie and Evan and their one month old baby girl!

I love babies! I love the natural process of birth and parenting, and togetherness. It's so beautiful.

Sob. Sniffle. Snort. Gulp.

Growth

Check it out...my garden has been growing.




The small, wee carrots...


...are now tall and bushy.


And look! Tomato!





















I, like my garden, am also growing as I celebrated my 24th year yesterday. I'm hoping this is the year that I no longer get mistaken as a teenie bopper.

Listen to this lovely artist who hails from the granola belt of Winnipeg, aka: the Wolseley neighborhood.

I'm planning a picnic today. It is going to be a solitary excursion, as the people in my life all have important things to do today. I tend to avoid important things. Possibly a result of my Phlegmatic-Melancholic personality.

I'm thinking Guacamole, kettle chips, natural root beer, cold chicken, carrot sticks, and perhaps some peas from the garden...Anyone want to come along? Please say yes! I will read Farley Mowat aloud, and force you to listen! It's a steal of a deal.

If I were a tree

NOTE: To watch this video in its full capacity, you may want to watch it in Youtube by double clicking on the screen.

A little ditty by a fella named Will.


Wasn't Will Sturgeon the name of "The Fish" in the Gordan Korman McDonald Hall books? If you haven't read them (I recommend them), they are about two teenage boys, Bruno and Boots who live at a boarding school in Toronto and pretty much get into trouble every day by the principle, Mr. Sturgeon. Did you know Gordan Korman wrote his first novel when he was 16 for a creative writing assignment?

I digress...

According to the The Uniter: Winnipeg's Weekly Urban Journal (aka: the University of Winnipeg's student newspaper) "the class of 2010 might be in for the worst employment climate young people have seen since the Second World War." As silly and as heartless as it sounds, I find it comforting that I am not alone in this predicament.

At least I don't have to wear a dress. Some things have improved since the 1940's.

I feel like a Boylan's Creamy Red Birch Beer would be a satisfying conclusion to this day. There is a certain allure to drinking tree roots in the middle of a thunderstorm.
















"Many times around
I am lost and then I'm found
But i don't know who I am in this world."
-Nicole Reynolds

A mid-summer's eve.

Poetic lyrics anyone? I like this guy. Oh Jeff, come to Winnipeg and melt my cold heart like the sun melts snow in spring.



I was the grateful recipient of a free Cinnamon Dolce Latte at Starbucks tonight, and consequently have nervous energy radiating from my knee caps and oozing out of the strands of my hair.

Too. Much. Caffeine...

One day I plan to build up a sufficient tolerance.

I have participated slightly in Fringe-ing activities, but I do not think I can sufficiently give any kind of review, as I have only attended one show thus far, and hence have nothing to compare it to (save the few shows that I took in last summer). But I can say that I greatly enjoyed the one show I have seen: "The Plank", and recommend it to anyone who enjoys pirates, woman power, and aerial dancing.
*****FIVE STARS *****

Jennie's Current Events, etc.

*I went to camp.
*I touched the bosom of a Famous Five at the Legislative building.






















*I searched for jobs.

*I contemplated working at Subway.

*I read the news.

*I bought groceries and made a yummy salad.

*I got a book out of the library yesterday and read it this morning.

*I realized that indulging my reading habits is good for my soul, but bad for my to-do list.

My mom will chuckle at the eclectic nature of this young Irish chap. His hair sticks out and his eyes scrunch shut, but his music is genuine.


"All the words I mean to say they never come out the right way...there are sides that I could show you, but they'll never come out the right way, cause I've been in pieces."

Last Days

Last Days
Things are
changing; things are starting to
spin, snap, fly off into
the blue sleeve of the long afternoon. Oh and ooh
come whistling out of the perished mouth
of the grass, as things
turn soft, boil back
into substance and hue. As everything.
forgetting its own enchantment, whispers:
I too, love oblivion why not it is full
of second chances. Now,
hiss the bright curls of leaves. Now!
booms the muscle of the wind.
Mary Oliver

A little bit of everything....

I just have to say, I love this picture of my brother, despite the blurriness that is an iphone picture.














*I'm sniffing mucous and coughing up a persistent throat tickle.
*I had an emotional day yesterday. Damn you, feelings.
*I am a bad ass because I said "damn" and "ass".
*I went to St. Benedict's Table last night, and was uplifted.
*I got locked out of the house this morning at 7:30 in my pajamas and bedhead. I sat on the front steps for an hour and then I crawled in the kitchen window.
*I am going to be an aunty. And this pleases me very much.



"love!
not just some passing moment
a glance however open
but some deeper compassion
radiating permanency
not some morbid curiosity
some gushing pity
incompetent naivete

the cry of burnt out eyes
wounded bodies
addicted minds
cravings
can only be answered by some deeper love
in which is felt a strange presence of the eternal
a hope
a new security
not some passing glance
but deeper bonds
unbreakable."
-Jean Vanier

These Days

These days I have been floundering a little. Searching for a job has been causing me to search for my existential purpose in life, and I am unsure of the direction I am supposed to go. There has been no sign post, no audible voice, no words drawn in the sand directing me. What did I want to do with my life again? I forget.

Despite the lack of an occupation...and the subsequent worries that co-exist with this type of lifestyle, I have been keeping busy with little adventures that I have been longing to do the past two years and couldn't due to the daily horrors of studenthood.

Adventures:
1. Trips to the library...I like to sit at the tables in the back on the fourth floor. The sun streams in, and the smell of musty non-fiction is more enjoyable than I remember it being. Perhaps because the context is different.

2. Gardening. Aside from my daily garden adventures, which include pulling up dead Boxwood that has roots the size of a refrigerator, I have been to two gardening workshops at Sage Garden Herbs, a local greenhouse that is the delight of my heart. The last workshop I went to was called the Summer Solstice Workshop, and we learned about magical herbs, and danced around a bonfire of burning embers. I made a pot with a strawberry plant, marigolds, a sunflower, a pepper plant, a flower called Midnight Candy that blooms only at night and smells spicy sweet, and some other plants that I can't remember. Here is a picture of my pot. Please note that it is in cauldron. How else are magical plants to be grown?




















3. Reading. I just finished The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery. Here is a sampling of the poetic passages that are in this little gem of a book: "The woods will have their own way even with those obvious dandelions. In a little while all that obtrusive yellowness and complacency will be gone and we'll find here misty, phantom-like globes hovering over these long grasses in full harmony with the traditions of the forest."

4. Cooking/Baking...actually this is just a prelude to the actual action of cooking. Today I want to make The Best Coffee Cake EVER, and Macaroni and Cheese.

5. Doing the Bikini Blast Workout video with Kim. "Blast away that fat, and get ready to have a bikini body all year round." Oh yeah.

6. Dreaming about traveling to the East Coast. On a train.

7. Walking. Walking around the neighborhood. Walking and listening to the ol' Ipod. Walking and reflecting. Walking and swatting mosquitoes.

Evening News
I went for a walk this evening. The sun was setting. The clouds were flecked with gold and amber. The grass waved proudly in the breeze. Momma duck and her six ducklings swam around the neighborhood pond eating delicious bugs for dinner. The pavement stretched on in endearing patterns of possibilities....

...and then...

...To my great horror and dismay, a small bunny rabbit ran in front of me, bounded across the road, and was smushed beneath the wheels of a car. Smoosh. Squish. Squelch.

It was gross. Unfortunately I had forgotten my camera so I could not capture an image of the tragic aftermath. I know, I know. Next time. I promise.

Music News:
I recommend listening to the new Stars album, The Five Ghosts, being release June 22. It is lovely.

Today I went to the Farmer's Market. I drank a mug of tea. I listened to some good music. I checked out the progress of my little garden and discovered that two of my beans have popped out of the soil.

I think themes and motifs are fascinating...So I will subject you to my odd obsession of finding random connections. LOOK! Three bands that start with SEA and end with an animal.

Seabear


Sea Wolf


Seabird

My Little Brother

Please Note: My brother is wearing formal clothing...this is significant.


















Haagen Dazs: The breakfast of champions.


















William successfully ducked out of the classy robe shots.


















Cute. Just plain cute.

Almost there!

An update:
-It is raining tonight.
-One of my favourite things to do right now is mow the lawn...especially while listening to The Shins. Dunno why.
-Bethany and I are planning a trip to Home Outfitters to "buy wedding presents" but really we are going to try out their massage chairs.
-I can hear frogs.
-I love my green, fuzzy blanket.
-I miss being able to drive 10 minutes to get to the lake.
-I love worms.
-I am trying not to eat wheat or dairy right now...and failing miserably.
-I forget to take my Chinese medicine daily.

Because I can't convey my heart and soul in a musical confection...

...I would love to share some people who can.







Jordan Klassen
-Good music if you are in a contemplative mood, it is both relaxing and inspiring.

Zaac Pick
-A bit outdoorsy sounding. Makes me wanna go for a walk.

Pat Lepoidevin
-Music that makes me feel like I would like to be a man. Not really sure why.

The Good Lovelies
-Some really cool girls.

Corey Isenor
-I like him. Vulnerable and approachable. I feel as though could have a conversation with this person.

Dan Griffin
-I don't remember why I liked him.

Caracol
-Who doesn't like some good French music every now and again?

Michael Bernard Fitzgerald
-Ha! laughter and art coincide in a foot-stampin' good time.

Tilly and the Wall
-I am cute and vivacious music that lingers in your soul.

Land of Talk
-Occasionally melancholy. I needed a tissue.

Brag, Brag, Brag...

My mum has an artistic side and I love to brag about her abilities! Here is an Etsy page that features some of her art, along with the creations of her co-worker and co-worker's daughter. She made some of the felted figures and jingle balls.

Growth

"Sometimes our life reminds me
of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing
and in that opening a house,
an orchard and garden,
comfortable shades, and flowers
red and yellow in the sun, a pattern
made in the light for the sun to return to.
The forest is mostly dark, its ways
to be made anew day after day, the dark
richer than the light and more blessed,
provided we stay brave
enough to keep on going in."
-Wendell Berry

I hate to brag, but...

...I have good genetics.



My dad has to put the siding on his house in a month. By himself. Here is one corner he has started so far. Go dad, go!

I would just like to say that my parents have the busiest, craziest life ever, and they withstand the chaos with grace, patience, and much prayer.

My heroes.

Searching

I'm searching for a job. The past five years of post-secondary have been preparing me for this fateful day, and it is time to face the "real" world and begin to emerge from my warm, safe nest of studenthood. "I'm sorry I just messed up your life, its because I'm still a student, and I haven't learned how to help people yet" can no longer be uttered from my lips. Neither can the phrase, "I'm glad I could help you today, Mrs.so and so, I just started my practicum here and I am still learning...no need to thank me...competent, me? For a student? Really, you are very kind."

Gone are the days of encouragement and reflection as a student who has a reason for not knowing. Gone also are the months of hard work with no monetary compensation.

To fill in the rest of these long days of sweat inducing labour (aka emailing resumes), I am working in my garden, going for long neighborhood walks, and currently spending time with the ol' sister and brother in law in Otterburne. It is blissfully quiet in the country. The Rat River rolls by between green, waving grasses as birds dive bomb with ferocious whim.

Today I...

...walked in the rain.

...drank a chai latte and pretended to be trendy with my journal and reflective posture at Starbucks.

...cried some tears.

...felt alone.

...prayed that the story of my life could be one of love.

...felt the presence of God through the understanding and wisdom of my family.

...cried some more.

...remembered that there is a hormonal component for my emotional turmoil.

...read L.M. Montgomery and reflected upon the beauty in the world.

...felt blessed to walk beneath a canopy of green trees and damp clouds.

...curled up on the couch beneath a warm blanket.



“Let me be the one you’re running to.” The Acorn

"She wanted to be alone - to think things out - to adjust herself, if it were possible, to the new world in which she seemed to have been transplanted with a suddenness and completeness that left her half bewildered to her own identity."
— L.M. Montgomery

"Some people think only intellect counts — knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion, and empathy."
-Dean Koontz

My mom and I had a date

We went to the local greenhouse.














So many flowers to choose from...


















Isn't she cute?



















Isn't she buff?
















Mmmmm. Compost.

















BEFORE


















AFTER

I went for a walk

There was a general absence of rain yesterday so I went for a walk around our property and beyond.

I took some pictures.

Home

I have entered a peaceful interlude of life. I am home in BC for a couple weeks before I go back to Winnipeg to start working my ass off. Hence, I have ample opportunities to ponder and reflect upon the past year, as well as to think about upcoming adventures. I am also being provided with Kaslo Sourdough bread, chai lattes from Sidewinders, guacamole, Antoinette's dip, and my mom's homemade soup.

Because I feel overcome with laziness or some sort of physical inability to move, I made a list of the things that I need to accomplish while I am home.

1. Go for a walk, or bike ride, or hike. Be outside. It has been raining pretty much since I got here, but I just gotta suck it up and commune with nature.

2. Pack up my room. This is a slightly more distressing thought, as I need to organize the last few things that I have in my BC bedroom and put them in boxes.

3. Help my mom in her garden.

4. Get acupuncture. I have an appointment on Wednesday. I hate needles.

5. Get a haircut.

I'm Here

"for how many years have you gone through the house
shutting the windows,
while the rain was still five miles away

and veering, o plum-colored clouds, to the north
away from you

and you did not even know enough
to be sorry,

you were glad
those silver sheets, with the occasional golden staple,

were sweeping on, elsewhere,
violent and electric and uncontrollable--

and will you find yourself finally wanting to forget
all enclosures, including

the enclosure of yourself, o lonely leaf, and will you
dash finally, frantically,

to the windows and haul them open and lean out
to the dark, silvered sky, to everything

that is beyond capture, shouting
i'm here, i'm here! now, now, now, now, now."
— Mary Oliver

To the dark cosmic forces who did everything in their power to keep me from graduating:

I would just like to say...

I will be finished my Social Work degree in a week despite you.

So there.

Hush.

"And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles,
no matter how long,
but only by a spiritual journey,
a journey of one inch,
very arduous and humbling and joyful,
by which we arrive at the ground at our feet,
and learn to be at home."
Wendell Berry

I'm tired. With exhaustion comes overwhelming emotions known as the "Melodramatic chaos of Jennie's mind". I feel as though the coffers of my heart and soul were somewhat depleted this past week and I could not replenish them quickly enough. My meager self-awareness and social work education tells me that I am experiencing something known as "burn-out" and I need to be more diligent in regards to "self-care."

Hence my Saturday evening is consisting of Jennie's self-care tactics:

1.) An empty house (not through my own doing I promise)
2.) A glass of wine
3.) A bowl of custard with bananas and chocolate chips and coconut
4.) Listening to music of a deep, sincere, and gentle beauty.
5.) And I am attempting to quiet my thoughts and clear my mind. Not generally an easy task for me.



Landscape

Isn't it plain the sheets of moss, except that
they have no tongues, could lecture
all day if they wanted about

spiritual patience? Isn't it clear
the black oaks along the path are standing
as though they were the most fragile of flowers?

Every morning I walk like this around
the pond, thinking: if the doors of my heart
ever close, I am as good as dead.

Every morning, so far, I'm alive. And now
the crows break off from the rest of the darkness
and burst up into the sky--as though

all night they had thought of what they would like
their lives to be, and imagined their strong, thick wings.

~Mary Oliver

When the storm comes
Will you reject the rain
If it falls not soft
If it falls not tame?

When the wind blows
And calls your name
Will you run in fear
Will you hide in shame?
-Ben Sollee

Today there is a hint of spring in the air. In the way the wind is blowing. In the way the sun is shining, in the way I look at the snow covered garden that has so much potential.

I'm writing a paper on Aboriginal policy today.

I can smell the freedom of spring from the dark alleyways of reality.

Can you believe I am graduating in a month and a half?

I like this fellow: Pat LePoidevin. "Can you see it? Can you see the music?" (Hamish, 2008).

"I think over again my small adventures
My fears,
Those small ones that seemed so big,
For all the vital things
I had to get and to reach.
And yet there is only one great thing,
The only thing
To live to see the great day that dawns
And the light that fills the world."
----Old Inuit Song

Poor Mr. Russian.

A Tale of Woes

I'm sick.
I fought in vain, and eventually succumbed to a virus of death. Blech is how I feel.

It is sunny outside, but I am not fooled by its tempting blindness. Last night I left work a couple of hours early, intending on going right to bed to rest my poor, sick body. Unfortunately my house key would not work. At all. I tried everything. I pulled the door towards me. I tried all of my keys, just in case my delirium was making it difficult to see clearly. I even made small, whimpering noises. This did nothing to help my cause. In defeat, with arms laden with library books and fingers frozen from fumbling with the doorknob, I turned around and walked to McDonalds. This is where I waited for an hour with my head plastered to the table before my roommate finished work and picked me up. She apparently has keys that are far more advanced than mine, or is merely more advanced than I at opening doors.

My beloved roommate is en route to China today. The room is empty without her in it.
You should check out her traveling thoughts HERE.

Jennie's word of the day:
Bereft-lacking something needed, wanted or expected

I could really use a lozenge.

I just had to look at my clock three times before it registered in my Occipital Lobe that it is already 9:00. I haven't even started working on my to-do list for the evening!

Today one of my clients gave me a hug. That's right. A hug. I consider this a noteworthy day.

My reading break is coming to an end, and I must say I am thankful. Too much reading and typing makes Jennie's head hurt and her bottom sore.

I offered to give my professor cookies for not taking any late marks off my paper. Here is his response: "Bribery will get you everywhere...Just Kidding." Maybe I should try money next time.

Some of Jennie's Favourite Songs of the week (so far):

10. "You Silly Git" - Dan Mangan
09. "Waiting by the Fence" - Forest City Lovers
08. "Of Winnipeg" - Eisenhauer
07. "Sleeping City" - Parlour Steps
06. "Up and Down" - The Mountains and the Trees
05. "Gimme Sympathy" - Metric
04. "Northernmost Eva Maria" - Leif Vollebekk
03. "New Goodbye" - Hey Rosetta
02. "Train of Thought" - Mother Mother
and...wait for it...my favouritest one:
01. "Buffalo" - Kathleen Edwards

Any particular songs keeping your feet a'walking and your mind a'thinking this week?

SOON!

These are not pictures of my own garden...




...but they are my inspiration.




Spring is coming.

1.) Here is a link to listen to the WHOLE Ben Sollee and Daniel Martin Moore album that is coming out tomorrow: Dear Companion. I am currently partial to "Only a Song" and "Try".

2.) I'm writing a paper today on the negative effects that technology (i.e. internet, video games, tv) can have on the family unit. 3000 words to go!

3.) I went to a Chinese New Year party yesterday. It is the year of the Tiger (MY year) hee hee. Roar. Growl?

4.) Two of my plants have officially passed away due to the liberal amounts of dish soup that I poured on them. And I still have fruit flies. Go figure. I hear wine is a tempting potion of death (for the flies) but I am fresh out.

5.) I love sunny days.

6.) I am reading "Never Cry Wolf" by Farley Mowat, and I LOVE it. What art! Truly an example of how science and art and humour can be friends. I remember watching the movie in grade 4, and my teacher was worried about showing the part when Farley jumped off the cliff naked. I liked the part when he ate rats. Did you know Farley has 6 honourary doctorates?

7.) I am going to go and drink tea now.

Happy day of love!

Enjoy some Canadian tunage.

Bedtime

A Dream of Trees by Mary Oliver
There is a thing in me that dreamed of trees,
A quiet house, some green and modest acres
A little way from every troubling town,
A little way from factories, schools, laments.
I would have time, I thought, and time to spare,
With only streams and birds for company.
To build out of my life a few wild stanzas.
And then it came to me, that so was death,
A little way away from everywhere.

There is a thing in me still dreams of trees,
But let it go. Homesick for moderation,
Half the world’s artists shrink or fall away.
If any find solution, let him tell it.
Meanwhile I bend my heart toward lamentation
Where, as the times implore our true involvement,
The blades of every crisis point the way.

I would it were not so, but so it is.
Who ever made music of a mild day?

I'm ordering seeds for my garden this spring. Zinnias, petunias, morning glory, cosmos. I ache for the warmth of spring. I feel tired and apathetic these days. Where has your hope gone, self? What happened to your happy spirit and joyous words? Why are you sad tonight, daughter of many blessings? So your life feels hard...well, whoever made music of a mild day? When I am exhausted and overwhelmed and scared I withdraw. I retreat. I seek some sort of refuge that looks very similar to Mary's quiet house with trees and peace. But to escape would be to miss out on a beauteous melody and I don't want that.

I just wish I were a toothbrush

The hump. Wednesday. The week is half over. Thank you Lord. Next week is reading break. I don't really have a break. I still have to go to practicum and work an extra shift, and write a few papers, and go to a group meeting. But I like to think that it will be a break, if only theoretically.

My roommate is leaving. Yup. Packing up and moving to China in two weeks. I'm sad she is leaving, but happy she is going to have an adventure.

I want an adventure.

I found out yesterday that I won some award at school. I get $500 to spend on "professional resources" which includes books! I get to go on Amazon and buy $500 worth of books. Crazy! I don't suppose poetry would be included as a professional resource.

Happy Monday

I got a book of poetry by Jean Vanier called "Tears of Silence." I know. It sounds horribly depressing, and I suppose that is the appeal. Human connection through suffering and emergence of hope.

The whole book is one prolonged poem...all of which I loved...but here is one particular portion of greatness:

"He who is
or has been
deeply hurt

has a RIGHT
to be sure
he is
LOVED."

I would change the "he" to include women as well. And I would add my belief that everyone experiences hurt to some measure in their life...which leads to the poem's profundity. Through its simplicity, it expresses an essential reality. The power of healing in our lives comes through relationships with one another. We look to each other for support, hope. When we feel unloved, rejected, discouraged, unworthy, and we don't have anyone to turn to, we turn to other things to fulfill our needs...A lady came the other day who disclosed her distress at her recent break up with her partner and said that she couldn't handle life by herself anymore. Yes. This makes sense. We can't handle life by ourselves. We need each other. We need God. We need hope.

"I need to talk
and walk
with another

I need to express myself
say things.....

this is a movement of life
life that is in me
and needs to flow out.....

I must speak.....and dance
sharing things that I love and hate
my hopes, my joys, my fears, my griefs....
giving myself
giving my life
giving life."

Look! Another free download! Aren't you glad you stuck around?
Josh Ritter's new album is arriving in May...This song is called "Change of Time"

"Its hard sometimes to know exactly what you feel." Eisenhauer

This dude has the most oddly calming influence on my psyche. And that is before he even sings a note. Possibly the mention of used bookstores and poetry are enough to bring feelings of comfort and beauty to my heart.

To do List:
*warm shower
*pajamas
*ginger tea
*blankets


it is still winter.

Stuck

A high wind velocity and blowing snow seems to have blocked my efforts to get back to Winnipeg after my Otterburne spent weekend, and so I am spending an unforseen snow day on the Providence campus. How exciting. I am currently in the collegium, the place where the cool commuter students hang (except no one is hanging, cause classes are canceled). Sasha made me some wicked coffee and gave me candy, and so life is good...and Jennie is hyper.

Too hyper to sit and concentrate on homework assignments of course.

There are board games and duplo in the commtuer lounge. And big comfy chairs, and pictures of retro sunsets on the walls. Why did I not spend more time here before?

If it was up to me I would most likely be a country dweller. Quiet walks in nature, with the wind tossing my body back and forth across the highway as if I were a rag doll. Ahh, peace is truly found in the middle of nowhere.