It is a day of rest today. An extra lil' holiday to be taken from practicum and business. However, it is not a holiday that constitutes the resting from papers that still need to be handed in. Blech.
Today we are making homemade perogies. I am learning about the ways of the Mennonite folk.
It is so windy this morning, that each gust past my bedroom window makes it rattle. It is rather comforting to be on the inside.
I have just received my sister's completed thesis via email in all its glorificus. It is entitled: Rethinking “Nature in General”: Wendell Berry, The Land Institute and a Relational View of Nature.
I know I am impressed all ready. The longer the title, the more intense the paper. My papers have very short titles. Like "Log #4"...but they are VERY intense.
I haven't read her thesis yet...but I have observed from my initial glance that it looks pretty amazing. Constructive, logical, AND beautifully written.
I am mentally and researchly preparing for my two therapeutic groups that I will be conducting for my practicum in June/July. The topic is: Reminiscence...
Anticipated Summer Pastimes:
1. Go to the library and read books that are unrelated to aging and dementia
2. Go to the park and read aforesaid books.
3. Gardening!! I currently have 3 pots of herbs, and 2 pots of tomatoes, and I am waiting until it gets a little warmer to do the outside planting.
4. Drink tea and homemade lemonade
5. Learn how to become an effective communicator.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Today I am thinking about oceans and evergreen forests and home. Riding the ferry. Hearing the fog horn. Watching the mist. Feeling the water spray. Smelling the distinct oceany air. Inhaling the earth. Touching rough bark. Standing in a quiet place. Accepting the stillness. Being in a place of familiarity.
It has been a hard week.
I am learning things about communication, and my utter finite being.
Time for some (indoor) gardening. The weather is not really cooperating with my planting schedule.
"I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me."
Patrick Watson
It has been a hard week.
I am learning things about communication, and my utter finite being.
Time for some (indoor) gardening. The weather is not really cooperating with my planting schedule.
"I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me."
Patrick Watson
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Does your own soul need comforting?
Mine does...here is my favorite poet yet again reminding her reader of the everyday joys that can supersede the tough stuff.
Such Singing in the Wild Branches by Mary Oliver
It was spring
and finally I heard him
among the first leaves -
then I saw him clutching the limb
in an island of shade
with his red-brown feathers
all trim and neat for the new year.
First, I stood still
and thought of nothing.
Then I began to listen.
Then I was filled with gladness -
and that's when it happened,
when I seemed to float,
to be, myself, a wing or a tree -
and I began to understand
what the bird was saying,
and the sands in the glass
stopped
for a pure white moment
while gravity sprinkled upward
like rain, rising,
and in fact
it became difficult to tell just what it was that was singing -
it was the thrush for sure, but it seemed
not a single thrush, but himself, and all his brothers,
and also the trees around them,
as well as the gliding, long-tailed clouds
in the perfectly blue sky - all, all of them
were singing.
And, of course, yes, so it seemed,
so was I.
Such soft and solemn and perfect music doesn't last
for more than a few moments.
It's one of those magical places wise people
like to talk about.
One of the things they say about it, that is true,
is that, once you've been there,
you're there forever.
Listen, everyone has a chance.
Is it spring, is it morning?
Are there trees near you,
and does your own soul need comforting?
Quick, then - open the door and fly on your heavy feet; the song
may already be drifting away.
Such Singing in the Wild Branches by Mary Oliver
It was spring
and finally I heard him
among the first leaves -
then I saw him clutching the limb
in an island of shade
with his red-brown feathers
all trim and neat for the new year.
First, I stood still
and thought of nothing.
Then I began to listen.
Then I was filled with gladness -
and that's when it happened,
when I seemed to float,
to be, myself, a wing or a tree -
and I began to understand
what the bird was saying,
and the sands in the glass
stopped
for a pure white moment
while gravity sprinkled upward
like rain, rising,
and in fact
it became difficult to tell just what it was that was singing -
it was the thrush for sure, but it seemed
not a single thrush, but himself, and all his brothers,
and also the trees around them,
as well as the gliding, long-tailed clouds
in the perfectly blue sky - all, all of them
were singing.
And, of course, yes, so it seemed,
so was I.
Such soft and solemn and perfect music doesn't last
for more than a few moments.
It's one of those magical places wise people
like to talk about.
One of the things they say about it, that is true,
is that, once you've been there,
you're there forever.
Listen, everyone has a chance.
Is it spring, is it morning?
Are there trees near you,
and does your own soul need comforting?
Quick, then - open the door and fly on your heavy feet; the song
may already be drifting away.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Dear Mom,
When the world is dark and scary, you remind me about the red tulip that comes up behind the compost pile.
And I realize,
That there is hope...
In spring.
In life.
In the midst of discouragement.
I hope that you know,
How much...
How very much...
I love you.
I wish I could give you real ones.
PLUS:
I wish I could make you some rooibos tea.
And bake you some apple crisp.
And go on a spring walk. And hang out.
Cause really I just miss you a lot.
And I realize,
That there is hope...
In spring.
In life.
In the midst of discouragement.
I hope that you know,
How much...
How very much...
I love you.
I wish I could give you real ones.
PLUS:
I wish I could make you some rooibos tea.
And bake you some apple crisp.
And go on a spring walk. And hang out.
Cause really I just miss you a lot.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Sunday, May 03, 2009
oh golly
Heavy sigh.
And breathe.
I accidentally screwed up one of my practicum papers, and so I am yet again testing out my skills of writing a paper at the eleventh hour. ha ha.
Booo school. Minimum wage has never looked so good to me.
And breathe.
I accidentally screwed up one of my practicum papers, and so I am yet again testing out my skills of writing a paper at the eleventh hour. ha ha.
Booo school. Minimum wage has never looked so good to me.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Brown is a very nice colour.
I want my life to be one of love. I want to love people. I want to take them outside in the garden and carry them armfuls of flowers. I want to hold their hands and tell them I think they are beautiful. I want to accept their words and recognize their hurt. I want to be with them in the midst of their pain and sorrow.
I don't want to develop group therapies and conduct MMST's. Is social work truly a means to the end that I desire?
Simplicity
Emily Dickinson
How happy is the little stone
That rambles in the road alone,
And doesn't care about careers,
And exigencies never fears;
Whose coat of elemental brown
A passing universe put on;
And independent as the sun,
Associates or glows alone,
Fulfilling absolute decree
In casual simplicity.
I don't want to develop group therapies and conduct MMST's. Is social work truly a means to the end that I desire?
Simplicity
Emily Dickinson
How happy is the little stone
That rambles in the road alone,
And doesn't care about careers,
And exigencies never fears;
Whose coat of elemental brown
A passing universe put on;
And independent as the sun,
Associates or glows alone,
Fulfilling absolute decree
In casual simplicity.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
After my first full week of practicum, and spending my days with delightful senior citizens, I cannot help but be thankful for my freedom. Fleeting and uncertain though they may be, I am grateful for the provision of weekends.
I have gained many insights through this first week:
1. I have the ability to strike fear in the hearts of poor elderly people who suffer from paranoia. This is a new experience for me, and is both frustrating and intoxicating. Don't worry, I will use my power wisely...
2. I am both energized and exhausted through social interactions. I come home feeling exhausticized.
3. Patience is a virtue that I need. It is easy to forget the sadness, pain, dementia, and exhaustion that can impact one's cognitive awareness.
4. People need meaning and purpose to feel like they have worth and value and self-esteem. Discovering and reminiscing about stories is extremely therapeutic for everyone, I think; hence the need for the therapeutic group I am developing on reminiscence.
5. The aging process is beautiful and painful and slow and fast. I think I forget about the deep needs that people have at all stages of life.
6. Relationships and community are VITAL for a healthy, happy life.
7. I want to be cremated. I think. And possibly tossed into the ocean. Or used as fertilizer for some pretty flowers. Much cheaper.
8. Simple gestures, touch, words, even the inclusion of one's presence can provide joy.
9. Musical activities are the most populated social activities among the elderly. I think this speaks to the reality that music is an important element of the soul that needs opportunity to be expressed and enjoyed.
10. Do I want to work with elderly in the future? Possibly. I wouldn't want to deny anyone the opportunity to kick me out of their room, or sing loud, obnoxious Italian music in my ear, or tell me the same story every five minutes.
11. According to the security man when taking my photo for my ID card, I have the worst devil eyes he has ever seen. Hmmm. Not exactly something you want to hear on your first day of working with elderly.
I have gained many insights through this first week:
1. I have the ability to strike fear in the hearts of poor elderly people who suffer from paranoia. This is a new experience for me, and is both frustrating and intoxicating. Don't worry, I will use my power wisely...
2. I am both energized and exhausted through social interactions. I come home feeling exhausticized.
3. Patience is a virtue that I need. It is easy to forget the sadness, pain, dementia, and exhaustion that can impact one's cognitive awareness.
4. People need meaning and purpose to feel like they have worth and value and self-esteem. Discovering and reminiscing about stories is extremely therapeutic for everyone, I think; hence the need for the therapeutic group I am developing on reminiscence.
5. The aging process is beautiful and painful and slow and fast. I think I forget about the deep needs that people have at all stages of life.
6. Relationships and community are VITAL for a healthy, happy life.
7. I want to be cremated. I think. And possibly tossed into the ocean. Or used as fertilizer for some pretty flowers. Much cheaper.
8. Simple gestures, touch, words, even the inclusion of one's presence can provide joy.
9. Musical activities are the most populated social activities among the elderly. I think this speaks to the reality that music is an important element of the soul that needs opportunity to be expressed and enjoyed.
10. Do I want to work with elderly in the future? Possibly. I wouldn't want to deny anyone the opportunity to kick me out of their room, or sing loud, obnoxious Italian music in my ear, or tell me the same story every five minutes.
11. According to the security man when taking my photo for my ID card, I have the worst devil eyes he has ever seen. Hmmm. Not exactly something you want to hear on your first day of working with elderly.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I want seed balls...
Oh how I want to be done studying for exams. Right about now I wouldn't mind walking around the neighborhood hucking balls of dirt. If only...
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thank you Lord for caffinated beverages
Writing papers all day can actually produce something good...the discovery of new music!!
Check out this interesting band:
Horse in the Sea
56 pages done, and still going strong...I love group counselling. So much.
Check out this interesting band:
Horse in the Sea
56 pages done, and still going strong...I love group counselling. So much.
Friday, March 27, 2009
It's Been a Long Day
My day started out rather abruptly (and coldly), as my assistance was required to help push dearest roommate (Chrissy) out of the driveway. Her car, that is. After some futile pushes (on my part, cause Chrissy is buff, and my workout regime does not appear to be garnering significant results in muscle tone), we found success in the combined efforts of some neighbor.
Following this exciting event which really feels like it occured yesterday due to its early morning nature, I attempted to redeem my my Human Behaviour paper in the remaining 23 minutes before leaving for class. It wasn't actually something that could be achieved in an hour.
The computers at Booth are remarkably slow, and normally I am quite content to sit and stare at the screen while it loads, and think about all the things I could be doing (flossing my teeth, clipping my toenails, etc). However, this morning we were rather late for class, and I admit that I muttered a couple of bad words at the stupid computer. This negative reinforcement (as a form of learning theory) did not produce any positive results, although my paper did eventually print.
Later in the afternoon I spent some time working at the ol' library. My favorite task involves watering the plants. My least favorite task involves reading shelves to make sure that all the books are in order.
I have now retreated to my room to sit on my bed. I am listening to the sounds of my roommates watching Lost, as I begin to write this monstrous paper that is due on Monday. My eyelids are drooping and I am attempting to motivate myself through the positive reinforcement of sleep. However I have realized that this tactic does not work on oneself. Negative reinforcement (the looming F+) is far more motivating. And so, the birth of the group counselling paper extraordinaire begins.
Following this exciting event which really feels like it occured yesterday due to its early morning nature, I attempted to redeem my my Human Behaviour paper in the remaining 23 minutes before leaving for class. It wasn't actually something that could be achieved in an hour.
The computers at Booth are remarkably slow, and normally I am quite content to sit and stare at the screen while it loads, and think about all the things I could be doing (flossing my teeth, clipping my toenails, etc). However, this morning we were rather late for class, and I admit that I muttered a couple of bad words at the stupid computer. This negative reinforcement (as a form of learning theory) did not produce any positive results, although my paper did eventually print.
Later in the afternoon I spent some time working at the ol' library. My favorite task involves watering the plants. My least favorite task involves reading shelves to make sure that all the books are in order.
I have now retreated to my room to sit on my bed. I am listening to the sounds of my roommates watching Lost, as I begin to write this monstrous paper that is due on Monday. My eyelids are drooping and I am attempting to motivate myself through the positive reinforcement of sleep. However I have realized that this tactic does not work on oneself. Negative reinforcement (the looming F+) is far more motivating. And so, the birth of the group counselling paper extraordinaire begins.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Mistakes we knew we were making
I recognize that I am technically wholly immersed in "crunch time", and should really be spending my time writing papers, as opposed to writing on my blog. I have no excuse.
Today we (well, Katie really), got a lil' doggie. She is very sweet and loving. You can read about our grand experiences here.
I am homesick. Or merely experiencing lingering pangs of indigestion. In either case, I wouldn't mind going home for a little trip. It doesn't look like this will happen until August, however.
Also, I simply must express my new found love regarding this lady's poetry. Although today was certainly not a sunny day, this poem reminds me of days to come hopefully soon!
Why I Wake Early by Mary Oliver
Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who made the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the
miserable and the crotchety –
best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light –
good morning, good morning, good morning.
Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness.
May your days be filled with happiness and kindness despite miserable occurrences that generally tend to occur in this life thing.
Today we (well, Katie really), got a lil' doggie. She is very sweet and loving. You can read about our grand experiences here.
I am homesick. Or merely experiencing lingering pangs of indigestion. In either case, I wouldn't mind going home for a little trip. It doesn't look like this will happen until August, however.
Also, I simply must express my new found love regarding this lady's poetry. Although today was certainly not a sunny day, this poem reminds me of days to come hopefully soon!
Why I Wake Early by Mary Oliver
Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who made the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the
miserable and the crotchety –
best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light –
good morning, good morning, good morning.
Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness.
May your days be filled with happiness and kindness despite miserable occurrences that generally tend to occur in this life thing.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Cheese and Whine
Hmpf. I guess it still surprises me that getting a lower mark can cause me to reconsider my life's journey. I have gotten enough bad marks in my little life to be so affected by this one. My hope is that one day I will be mature enough to disengage my sense of worth from my grades. Today I feel as though I am finally able to say, "SCREW IT ALL!" I have far more reliable means to find my meaning in my life than the stupid educational system. I am embracing the fact that if I want to help people, it is going to take a lot more than a (insert bad grade)to stop me. HAA! Take that.
Yesterday I was reading some of Emily Dickinson's poems...and I came upon my new mantra.
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
My mental image of a fainting robin pretty much consists of this lil' birdie tipping out of his nest and landing beak first in the dirt. My gut reaction is to laugh (my little brother has rubbed off on me) But the essence remains, that if I can do anything for the sake of another, my life will be worth living...and this thought is helping me continue on in this social work thing...
Yesterday I was reading some of Emily Dickinson's poems...and I came upon my new mantra.
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
My mental image of a fainting robin pretty much consists of this lil' birdie tipping out of his nest and landing beak first in the dirt. My gut reaction is to laugh (my little brother has rubbed off on me) But the essence remains, that if I can do anything for the sake of another, my life will be worth living...and this thought is helping me continue on in this social work thing...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
whoops.
Yes, it is the same plant...thriving one day, and dead the next. I'm not sure what it's problem is. I gave it sunshine and liquids and plant food...but alas, the little darling began to succumb to what ever it was that is making him sick. Sad.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Here is a bit of happiness in my life.
1. I am doing my summer practicum at Misericordia Health Center which is a convenient two minute walk from my home. I am excited. I will be able to assist and accommodate elderly people in a social workey way. I'm still not exactly sure what I will be doing, but I know I have to be dressed up to do it.
2. I was able to attend the beautiful wedding of a friend from Prov this weekend. There were tears from my eyes throughout the ceremony. I'm not sure what prompted this emotional trickle, but I think the overwhelming combination of beautiful music and beautiful people, and the ridiculously excited facial features of the groom had something to do with it. Congratulations Steph and Jamie!
3. I was also able to attend Janna's birthday this weekend which included eating Indian food that was just great, and pumpkin cheesecake that was also just great. I cannot say enough good things about the food, so I figured I would not try. The people were pretty great too. Happy Birthday Janna!
4. There are only 6 more weeks of school left! Enough said.
5. Today is daylight savings time, which means the loss of a beautiful hour of sleep, but which also represents the gaining of a beautiful hour of daylight. Which means that spring is coming!
6. My room is warm (Sorry Katie).
7. I have purchased a new journal and pen, for all my journaling needs. This makes me happy.
8. I really enjoy Wolsely as a neighbourhood.
9. I am listening to piano and violins.
10. I am thankful that love can take so many different forms, and doesn't have to merely consist of romantic affection.
1. I am doing my summer practicum at Misericordia Health Center which is a convenient two minute walk from my home. I am excited. I will be able to assist and accommodate elderly people in a social workey way. I'm still not exactly sure what I will be doing, but I know I have to be dressed up to do it.
2. I was able to attend the beautiful wedding of a friend from Prov this weekend. There were tears from my eyes throughout the ceremony. I'm not sure what prompted this emotional trickle, but I think the overwhelming combination of beautiful music and beautiful people, and the ridiculously excited facial features of the groom had something to do with it. Congratulations Steph and Jamie!
3. I was also able to attend Janna's birthday this weekend which included eating Indian food that was just great, and pumpkin cheesecake that was also just great. I cannot say enough good things about the food, so I figured I would not try. The people were pretty great too. Happy Birthday Janna!
4. There are only 6 more weeks of school left! Enough said.
5. Today is daylight savings time, which means the loss of a beautiful hour of sleep, but which also represents the gaining of a beautiful hour of daylight. Which means that spring is coming!
6. My room is warm (Sorry Katie).
7. I have purchased a new journal and pen, for all my journaling needs. This makes me happy.
8. I really enjoy Wolsely as a neighbourhood.
9. I am listening to piano and violins.
10. I am thankful that love can take so many different forms, and doesn't have to merely consist of romantic affection.
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