Evening News
I went for a walk this evening. The sun was setting. The clouds were flecked with gold and amber. The grass waved proudly in the breeze. Momma duck and her six ducklings swam around the neighborhood pond eating delicious bugs for dinner. The pavement stretched on in endearing patterns of possibilities....

...and then...

...To my great horror and dismay, a small bunny rabbit ran in front of me, bounded across the road, and was smushed beneath the wheels of a car. Smoosh. Squish. Squelch.

It was gross. Unfortunately I had forgotten my camera so I could not capture an image of the tragic aftermath. I know, I know. Next time. I promise.

Music News:
I recommend listening to the new Stars album, The Five Ghosts, being release June 22. It is lovely.

Today I went to the Farmer's Market. I drank a mug of tea. I listened to some good music. I checked out the progress of my little garden and discovered that two of my beans have popped out of the soil.

I think themes and motifs are fascinating...So I will subject you to my odd obsession of finding random connections. LOOK! Three bands that start with SEA and end with an animal.

Seabear


Sea Wolf


Seabird

My Little Brother

Please Note: My brother is wearing formal clothing...this is significant.


















Haagen Dazs: The breakfast of champions.


















William successfully ducked out of the classy robe shots.


















Cute. Just plain cute.

Almost there!

An update:
-It is raining tonight.
-One of my favourite things to do right now is mow the lawn...especially while listening to The Shins. Dunno why.
-Bethany and I are planning a trip to Home Outfitters to "buy wedding presents" but really we are going to try out their massage chairs.
-I can hear frogs.
-I love my green, fuzzy blanket.
-I miss being able to drive 10 minutes to get to the lake.
-I love worms.
-I am trying not to eat wheat or dairy right now...and failing miserably.
-I forget to take my Chinese medicine daily.

Because I can't convey my heart and soul in a musical confection...

...I would love to share some people who can.







Jordan Klassen
-Good music if you are in a contemplative mood, it is both relaxing and inspiring.

Zaac Pick
-A bit outdoorsy sounding. Makes me wanna go for a walk.

Pat Lepoidevin
-Music that makes me feel like I would like to be a man. Not really sure why.

The Good Lovelies
-Some really cool girls.

Corey Isenor
-I like him. Vulnerable and approachable. I feel as though could have a conversation with this person.

Dan Griffin
-I don't remember why I liked him.

Caracol
-Who doesn't like some good French music every now and again?

Michael Bernard Fitzgerald
-Ha! laughter and art coincide in a foot-stampin' good time.

Tilly and the Wall
-I am cute and vivacious music that lingers in your soul.

Land of Talk
-Occasionally melancholy. I needed a tissue.

Brag, Brag, Brag...

My mum has an artistic side and I love to brag about her abilities! Here is an Etsy page that features some of her art, along with the creations of her co-worker and co-worker's daughter. She made some of the felted figures and jingle balls.

Growth

"Sometimes our life reminds me
of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing
and in that opening a house,
an orchard and garden,
comfortable shades, and flowers
red and yellow in the sun, a pattern
made in the light for the sun to return to.
The forest is mostly dark, its ways
to be made anew day after day, the dark
richer than the light and more blessed,
provided we stay brave
enough to keep on going in."
-Wendell Berry

I hate to brag, but...

...I have good genetics.



My dad has to put the siding on his house in a month. By himself. Here is one corner he has started so far. Go dad, go!

I would just like to say that my parents have the busiest, craziest life ever, and they withstand the chaos with grace, patience, and much prayer.

My heroes.

Searching

I'm searching for a job. The past five years of post-secondary have been preparing me for this fateful day, and it is time to face the "real" world and begin to emerge from my warm, safe nest of studenthood. "I'm sorry I just messed up your life, its because I'm still a student, and I haven't learned how to help people yet" can no longer be uttered from my lips. Neither can the phrase, "I'm glad I could help you today, Mrs.so and so, I just started my practicum here and I am still learning...no need to thank me...competent, me? For a student? Really, you are very kind."

Gone are the days of encouragement and reflection as a student who has a reason for not knowing. Gone also are the months of hard work with no monetary compensation.

To fill in the rest of these long days of sweat inducing labour (aka emailing resumes), I am working in my garden, going for long neighborhood walks, and currently spending time with the ol' sister and brother in law in Otterburne. It is blissfully quiet in the country. The Rat River rolls by between green, waving grasses as birds dive bomb with ferocious whim.

Today I...

...walked in the rain.

...drank a chai latte and pretended to be trendy with my journal and reflective posture at Starbucks.

...cried some tears.

...felt alone.

...prayed that the story of my life could be one of love.

...felt the presence of God through the understanding and wisdom of my family.

...cried some more.

...remembered that there is a hormonal component for my emotional turmoil.

...read L.M. Montgomery and reflected upon the beauty in the world.

...felt blessed to walk beneath a canopy of green trees and damp clouds.

...curled up on the couch beneath a warm blanket.



“Let me be the one you’re running to.” The Acorn

"She wanted to be alone - to think things out - to adjust herself, if it were possible, to the new world in which she seemed to have been transplanted with a suddenness and completeness that left her half bewildered to her own identity."
— L.M. Montgomery

"Some people think only intellect counts — knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion, and empathy."
-Dean Koontz

My mom and I had a date

We went to the local greenhouse.














So many flowers to choose from...


















Isn't she cute?



















Isn't she buff?
















Mmmmm. Compost.

















BEFORE


















AFTER

I went for a walk

There was a general absence of rain yesterday so I went for a walk around our property and beyond.

I took some pictures.

Home

I have entered a peaceful interlude of life. I am home in BC for a couple weeks before I go back to Winnipeg to start working my ass off. Hence, I have ample opportunities to ponder and reflect upon the past year, as well as to think about upcoming adventures. I am also being provided with Kaslo Sourdough bread, chai lattes from Sidewinders, guacamole, Antoinette's dip, and my mom's homemade soup.

Because I feel overcome with laziness or some sort of physical inability to move, I made a list of the things that I need to accomplish while I am home.

1. Go for a walk, or bike ride, or hike. Be outside. It has been raining pretty much since I got here, but I just gotta suck it up and commune with nature.

2. Pack up my room. This is a slightly more distressing thought, as I need to organize the last few things that I have in my BC bedroom and put them in boxes.

3. Help my mom in her garden.

4. Get acupuncture. I have an appointment on Wednesday. I hate needles.

5. Get a haircut.

I'm Here

"for how many years have you gone through the house
shutting the windows,
while the rain was still five miles away

and veering, o plum-colored clouds, to the north
away from you

and you did not even know enough
to be sorry,

you were glad
those silver sheets, with the occasional golden staple,

were sweeping on, elsewhere,
violent and electric and uncontrollable--

and will you find yourself finally wanting to forget
all enclosures, including

the enclosure of yourself, o lonely leaf, and will you
dash finally, frantically,

to the windows and haul them open and lean out
to the dark, silvered sky, to everything

that is beyond capture, shouting
i'm here, i'm here! now, now, now, now, now."
— Mary Oliver

To the dark cosmic forces who did everything in their power to keep me from graduating:

I would just like to say...

I will be finished my Social Work degree in a week despite you.

So there.

Hush.

"And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles,
no matter how long,
but only by a spiritual journey,
a journey of one inch,
very arduous and humbling and joyful,
by which we arrive at the ground at our feet,
and learn to be at home."
Wendell Berry

I'm tired. With exhaustion comes overwhelming emotions known as the "Melodramatic chaos of Jennie's mind". I feel as though the coffers of my heart and soul were somewhat depleted this past week and I could not replenish them quickly enough. My meager self-awareness and social work education tells me that I am experiencing something known as "burn-out" and I need to be more diligent in regards to "self-care."

Hence my Saturday evening is consisting of Jennie's self-care tactics:

1.) An empty house (not through my own doing I promise)
2.) A glass of wine
3.) A bowl of custard with bananas and chocolate chips and coconut
4.) Listening to music of a deep, sincere, and gentle beauty.
5.) And I am attempting to quiet my thoughts and clear my mind. Not generally an easy task for me.



Landscape

Isn't it plain the sheets of moss, except that
they have no tongues, could lecture
all day if they wanted about

spiritual patience? Isn't it clear
the black oaks along the path are standing
as though they were the most fragile of flowers?

Every morning I walk like this around
the pond, thinking: if the doors of my heart
ever close, I am as good as dead.

Every morning, so far, I'm alive. And now
the crows break off from the rest of the darkness
and burst up into the sky--as though

all night they had thought of what they would like
their lives to be, and imagined their strong, thick wings.

~Mary Oliver

When the storm comes
Will you reject the rain
If it falls not soft
If it falls not tame?

When the wind blows
And calls your name
Will you run in fear
Will you hide in shame?
-Ben Sollee