I have been working in the library for 3 and a half hours now, and I feel somewhat accomplished even though I know I have barely scratched the surface. I like the library, but sometimes it is very difficult to work there and be content with the subject I am struggling with. I want to research things OTHER than what I am being graded on. I have been researching the Great Commission found in Matthew 28:16. I think what stuck out to me the most in the process of my research was what one scholar said (I don't remember who!). He said that learning is a never ending process. As a Christian I should never cease to strive to learn new things. That is both an exciting and tiring thought.

Other than homework my life is very good. I am eating well, exercising often, and spending some time with God. I have been reading Brennan Manning's book, Abba's Child, and I am very excited, relieved, and nourished by what he says. Dorm life is good. I don't know what to do for care group. I am running out of ideas...Any thoughts???

Well, it is soon to be supper time, and I am so hungry. I'm afraid that rice crackers just aren't doing it for me. Until next time...

An update of sorts

Well, apparently it is no longer Christmas, so it is therefore time to write something on my blog. Life is good. The End.

Christmas Pictures

Here are a couple of pictures of my Christmas holiday thus far. I went skating on our neighbour's cute outdoor skating rink last night. It was great fun until the end when I fell over and got a big bruise on my knee.

Oh Christmas hoildays

I have one more exam and then I am finished school for the semester!!! YIPEE! I am almost to the point of being able to relax and allow my mind to unravel from its tightly bound state. There is still a lot to think about and do before I can go home for the holidays, but the amount is diminishing all the time.

I have been looking forward to Christmas break with more vehemence then usual. Perhaps it is because this semester has been rather stressful, particularly due to the vast amount of schoolwork that I have had. Oh the holidays!!

I have been thinking about the things I would like to accomplish during these glorious 3 weeks off that await me. I would like to: play in the snow
read
go skating
eat good food
have lots of baths (with bubbles!!)
watch cheesy movies with my mom
sleep
drink vast amounts of rooibos and black current tea
this list could go on for awhile......

Christmas is a wonderful time of year, and I love it oh so much!

The last 3 of my classes have been about violence. Needless to say, I have been thinking a lot about violence. Why are people violent? How could anyone hurt another human being like that? I think I have been extremely blessed because I have never experienced any physical violence towards me. But I don't want to be ignorant of what is going on around me. There is a lot of violence occuring against women (not to understate the violence that is happening against men!), and I wish there was something I can do. It hurts my heart to see pictures like this.

I discovered that:

*"One in three women in the world has been beaten, raped, coerced into sex or has been physically abused."

*"130 million young girls have undergone Female Genital Mutilation, mostly in Africa. Another 2 million are at risk every year."(www.thp.org/women/nov25.htm)

I can't even comprehend what it must be like to be violated in such brutal ways. I think it would be very difficult to forgive those committing the violence. And yet, I think that I am violent towards people in other ways. I judge people in my heart. I hurt people with untactful words. I wish I could do something.

"Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love." Lamentations 3:32

Tea Time

Well, it is the third of November today, which means that this semester is more than half finished. Wow!! I am hoping to get all my classes registered today. I think I have decided that I am NOT going to take 7 classes, because I would like to survive the year mentally healthy. I am reading a very good book right now called, "The Search for Intimacy." Such a wonderful book!! I am on my way to finish a book, and write a paper! Oh, Lord sustain me through this paper-writing desert. I am feeling very unmotivated and just in need of a rest. Why does it seem as though everyone else has time to do everything but homework, whereas I feel as though I will never be finished?? I'm sure in reality there are many people who are even more overloaded with work than I will ever be, and in a way it is relieving to remember that I am not so bad off! All I want to do tonight, is to sit wrapped up in a quilt on my bed with a good book and a hot cup of tea, and music playing in the background. Ahhhhhhh...My ideal evening that doesn't ever seem to be happening these days. It is hard to find joy in these long paper writing evenings!

Well, it has been awhile since I have written on this thing, so I suppose I must appease my throng of fascinated readers (ha, ha!), and say something. My life is busy, but good. Homework is being neglected, as I am torn between too many things, such as Missions Encounter stuff, RA stuff, God stuff, and people stuff (not neccessarily in that order). This evening (in approximately 10 minutes) I am attending a workshop on how to maintain one's car. I was not originally going to go, but I think I realised that the reason I wasn't going was that I was scared to. So anyway, this is me facing my fears, and learning about something new, and about which I really have zero prior knowledge. Well, my future in mechanics awaits, so I must go!

Happy Autumn!!!

Well, it is Friday again! I have plans to write 2 papers today, although I'm not sure whether I will be successful or not. I have procrastinated yet again, and now have gotten very behind. I am going shopping tomorrow in Winnipeg and I am hoping to buy some "comfort" food for care group on monday. We are having our first night of testimony sharing! I hope that it goes well. I really want people to be as real as possible, so we can become closer, and lean on each other. I shared my testimony 2 weeks ago, and I wanted to be as open as possible. I tried, but I feel as though I left stuff out. I am so blessed. I have the most wonderful dorm ever! They are all so sweet and kind and talented. I am looking forward to getting to know them better. I should start writing my paper, and stop procrastinating!!!

I'm Here!

Well, I am here at Prov, and everything is going very well. Training week has been really busy so far, but very eye-opening and good. I am hoping to connect more with people (which means forcing myself to speak more), so that is something that I am working on. I just finished emailing all the girls in my dorm, and I am just so excited to finally meet them. God, bless them as they may be scared and unsure of what is coming. My room needs some serious stuff happening. Those pillows you gave me Linds are soooo wonderful, but it feels so much more empty when there is only one person living is such a large space. Gotta work on that. Well, off to supper!

Jesus, tell me to come to you on the water

I am leaving in a few hours for Winnipeg, and I am experiencing a myriad of emotions, such as excitement, nervousness, giddiness, and unbelief. I am glad the summer is coming to a close, and yet it came so soon, and I wasn't prepared. I guess the only thing for me to do is to keep moving forward with my eyes on Jesus. I am excited for this year, but apprehension is holding me back from being truly exhilirated. Apprehension, fear, doubt, uncertainty of where God is leading me to. Where am I? Where are you taking me? I'm scared. I have ideas of what I would like to do with my life, but they seem futile and selfish. I want to love people and serve them. I have this dream of working in an orphange in Africa or South America, meeting the man of my dreams, getting married, having babies, and raising them to be amazing people who want to serve God. Beyond that I have no clue what it is that I want to do. I am scared to trust God with my life in case he takes me somewhere that I do not want to be!!

Relax, God's in charge

Here are pictures of the most beautiful children in the world. I am so blessed to have been a part of their lives!







"Relax, God's in charge." I have a card someone gave me with those words on it sitting on my desk. How wonderful that I can relax, knowing that someone bigger and wiser is in charge of my life. Every once in awhile I panic and start worrying about things. Today was one of those days. I worked nearly 12 hours today straight (with a 15 min. break). It was such a yucky day, and I was so tired, and nearing tears that I forgot that I do NOT have to go through this life on my own.

"You were wearied by all your ways,
but you would not say, 'it is hopeless.'
You found renewal of your strength,
and so you did not faint."
Isaiah 57:10

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday,
The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail."
Isaiah 58:11

Things to Work on

Some things I have been thinking and praying about lately...

"Your loving concern for others will increase your authority and influence their lives." David L. Hocking "Be a Leader People Follow"

-I want to have a genuine loving concern for people. Sometimes I catch myself being nice to people for the sole purpose of getting them to like me. But it isn't about me! Which leads me to my second thought........

"We are to bear one another's burdens and thus fulfill Christ's law. He bore all our griefs, infirmities, and sorrows. But we are also told to bear our own burdens. This must mean to shoulder them bravely, to think twice before laying them onto the shoulders of others who may be more heavily laden than we are...Above all it means learning Calvary love - forgetfulness of self in order to be strong to serve." Elizabeth Elliot "Passion and Purity"

-I need to stop focusing on my own needs and advantages when I serve others, and focus on others and the cross instead. Then I will be strong.

"When we do not have security in our relationship with God, we will be restlessly running from activity to activity, subconsciously hoping that our activity will fill the void in our lives. We are afraid to stop and be silent before God lest it cause us to face up honestly to what is happening in our lives." Ajith Fernando "Jesus Driven Ministry"

-I do this all the time. I don't want to see where I am going wrong, so I avoid it altogether.

Worth it All

Worth it All
Rita Springer

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this

The Shire

I am sleepy tonight...I just finished playing the Lord of the Rings video game with my brother for almost 2 hours. I kept dying, but it was fun. I think sometimes the simple things in life are best. It is time to start thinking about going back to school. Oh how time flies. There were several things that I wanted to accomplish this summer, and I got about half way through my list. Some of the things on my list were:
Read some good books
Eat healthy food
Drink water
Exercise
Think of some exciting care groups
Share God's love with someone
Pray continuously

As with most goals that I make, I started out strong, and then things kinda fizzled. I'm doing pretty good with the healthy eating and water, but I definitely have my weak moments. The exercise is pretty sporadic. And I hope that I have shared God's love with others. I have a ways to go before I am praying continuously, but I am trying! The reading is not a problem, thank goodness.

Only 2 more weeks of work to go! I will miss this job, as I really have come to enjoy it. There has been a nice balance of challenging work, as well as the mindless jobs such as watering the flowers! I have appreciated the people most of all. Thank you Lord for your blessings.

Trust

I am learning (very slowly!) how to trust God. It is so hard sometimes, and other times it just feels so necessary and right to place my trust in Him. I am so thankful that I have something in my life that is constant and steadfast. People change, circumstances change, but God's love for me remains the same, and that is so incredible. I find it so difficult to fully understand the magnitude of this.

I love the truth in this song.


Dearly Loved
Jimmy Needham

(Matthew 11:28)
Please lay down your arrows
For they’re sure to pierce the skin
And water from a broken well
Will make you thirst again
When all things you’ve acquired
Are tested by the flames
And you can see them melting
Then will you call his name

It’s worth it brothers
It’s worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin
Did you know that you are dearly loved

To the slaughters you are being led
Being told that it’s a party
That this God is in your head
And every single lie
Sounds just like the greatest truth
But the one truth you’re not hearing
Is that he died for you

No greater joy
No greater peace
No greater love than this

It’s worth it brothers
It’s worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin
Did you know that you are dearly loved


Thank you Jesus for loving me.

I Bought a Car!

Here is a picture of my very first car! It is a 1988 Mazda Station Wagon, and if you can't tell, it is a very light blue colour. Isn't it cute? It is also a standard, so Mr. Car and I have been having some battles lately. At this moment I would have to say that the car is winning, but I am hoping to change that in the very near future. It was unfortunately way out of my budget, but my parents say it is a good car, and will serve me well! Notice the beautiful garden in the background. You can't really see any of the flowers, but picture foxglove, marigolds, pink petunias and more blooming profusely! How wonderful. Unfortunately a hungry deer ate most of the vegetables we had planted. My brother has strick orders to have his sling shot ready in case the deer comes back (my mom was just a little upset by the ordeal!).

God's Fireworks

I am sitting at my window watching a beautiful display of God's natural fireworks, and listening to jazz music. I am not a huge jazz fan, but every once in a while I find it very soothing to listen to. It is hot and muggy and it feels as though it is trying desperately to rain. I went to a church BBQ tonight, and then to a youth event where some college age people put on a presentation for New Generation, which encourages young people to start prayer and outreach groups in their schools. I got asked a couple times why I didn't go forward to "accept the challenge." I guess I look a little young. I think it is a neat idea, and I wish that I had taken the initiative to start a similar kind of group in high school. I learned that Nelson has one of the highest populations for people with AIDS in BC. I went out for lunch with some of my coworkers today to a popular Indian restaurant. I ordered the second cheapest thing on the menu, as I am of course, a poor, starving college student; but it was excellent nonetheless!

I really want to practice having a humble attitude. I was thinking today about how much Jesus had to humble himself in order to save the world. What a sacrifice he made, not only physically, but he also had to abondon all self-consideration. He gave all that was in him to give. I want to express that attitude in everything that I do, but it is sooo difficult sometimes. Please give me perseverance, Lord!

Pergamum

I want to have a hunger and passion for the Bible. The sermon in church tonight was on one of the churches discussed in Revelations 2, and John was admonishing the church to hold to the teachings of God, and to use the Bible as though it were a sharp, double edge sword. My pastor said that we need to go the Bible for our strength and knowledge, and by doing that, we will become stronger in our faith. I have heard this before, but it suddenly clicked for me tonight that I need to spend more time going to the Bible for my strength. So often I will rely on the advice of people rather than asking God to reveal himself to me through his word. It made me feel sad that I don't place enough value on the infinite wisdom of God. I want this to change in my life, and I want to seek God's face continually.

Golf:The Greatest Game Ever Played...NOT!

I went golfing with the junior high last night, and I turned out to be pretty much the stinkiest player! I know, I know, big surprise! I had no idea what an "iron" was or what its purpose is in hitting the ball. I was in a group with 3 sweet girls, who were very patient with my lack of skills. I got laughed at because I wore flip flops, and apparently that is not proper golf foot-wear. I really enjoyed spending time with those girls, and it forced me to remember what life was like at that age. I want to be someone who they will feel free to talk to. There are so many social pressures for young teen girls to be and look a certain way. How frustrating.

I am going to Ainsworth Hot Springs tomorrow night. I like going there, but I have been so busy this week, I would really prefer to be mellow at home. Work was a little crazy today. It was staff meeting day today, which is always very exciting. It happens every 2 weeks, and everyone who works for the society comes and hashes out the problems with child care, and non-functional families. I, unfortunately, do not get to attend these wonderful gatherings as I am much to busy answering phones and getting angry at the photocopyer (the silly thing had me down on my knees today, which was a little uncomfortable as I was wearing a skirt). Work is going well, and I really enjoy the people who work there. There is such diversity that, I'm sure, would only be so evident in Nelson.

I feel as though the summer (thus far) has been a somewhat restful time for me. I think at am at a place in my faith where I'm not on the mountain, or in the valley. I just AM. I thought that maybe because of this, that I wasn't growing or maturing spiritually, but a friend pointed out that God is still teaching me, just in a different way than I am used to. I need to continue trusting God, and pursuing him whole heartedly. Perhaps this is the time when it is most diffcult, when things are just normal, as one may feel that they are doing pretty good on their own, and forget to turn to the Lord for wisdom.

I Love...

I love:
rooibos tea
good conversation
books
dark chocolate
music
sunshine
sharing a joke with my brother
candles
socks
avocado
black currant tea
listening to someone play the piano
my Bible
ice cream
a child's laughter
hugs
watching my sister dance
tulips
kind words
community
learning
my Jesus
chai tea
fresh raspberries with cream
happy memories
second hand stores
sharing
encouragement
talking to my mom
gingerbread
family
granola
African people
my dad's hugs when he scratches me with his cheek
friendship
homemade veggie burgers

"The knowledge that God has loved me beyond limits will compel me to go into the world to love others in the same way. Neither natural love nor God's divine love will remain and grow in me unless it is nurtured." Oswald Chambers