Friday, November 21, 2008

Community Continued....

I think that I entered into this school year with a slightly idealistic perspective about community. I thought it would be relatively easy to enter a new environment and meet people and live happily ever after. Perhaps this is due to living so many years in the wonderful bubble that is the Providence College Residence. Making friends there is not hard. But somehow, when you enter the "real" world, it seems as though the friend making process significantly slows down. Friendships that took days to form, now seem to take weeks, months.

So I am left with the feeling that I need to work harder, be more outgoing, and talk to people more than I am. Ok, I can try. Because relationships are worth it. And community is so much of life.

As a pretty dedicated introvert I cringe at the thought of stepping outside of my comfort zone and pushing myself to initiate conversation. Is there an easier way? Maybe...but I think life is too short and too painful and too beautiful to wait for someone else to make the first move. I offer myself advice in this regard: start small...but start.

4 comments:

Calley said...

Baby steps Jennie, baby steps! Haha. I feel the same way. I'm not one to initiate a friendship or even a conversation with someone. I'm so anti-social and sometimes that makes me question and wonder why I'm going into social work. I wait until people talk to me because that way I will know that they want to and if they don't talk to me I just think that it's because they don't want to, but maybe they are just as shy as I am. I totally agree with you! Having a social life at Prov was so much easier than anywhere else that I've been. At first, I thought that it was just because Prov is a Bible college, but I'm not so sure I think that way anymore. I miss my friends from Prov. I miss you Jennie!

Steph said...

jenny!! i finally get to stalk you! i'm so excited!
how are you doing girl? i miss your presence in my life.
and i completely concure with your thoughts on this post. i always thought that i had many experiences in life and that the "real world" didn't really exist. and maybe it doesn't.. but there definitely is "different world" which i, and i think you, are experiencing. it has also been interesting for me to assume that friends would fall into my lap as i have always lived in community as well. now, i have to make the effort, or greater effort... it's hard.. it's weird... and i succome to introversion more than actively persuing them. :( quite sad... but i need to try. we need each other.. we need community... and of course relationships always take effort - damnit! :) so here's to me struggling with you! love you sister!

Larisa Kardash said...

oh sis, we are so much the same!! I often think it is not worth it to go out of my comfort zone and "attack" the awkward situation that socializing often is for us...
but we must press on...keep trying...and I have to keep realizing that maybe that is why others do not approach me - it may be that they don't like awkward social situations just like me!! you see, we are really ALL the same inside :) We just show it differently! May we continue on..even though it can make us pull our hair out somedays...
Those were some great, awesome, amazing thoughts Jennie...

Jennie Miller said...

Steph! you may stalk me anytime...i have a feeling that your efforts toward community are far more difficult than my own, as you are experiencing language and cultural differences...and stuff.
Know that you are loved and appreciated and missed from the expansive distance of an ocean and some land.