I have been pondering the meaning of God's love in my life lately, and have come to recognise that I have great difficulty accepting it. Why?
A.W.Tozer said, "Let any man turn to God in earnest, let him begin to exercise himself unto godliness, let him seek to develop his powers of spiritual receptivity by trust and obediance and humility, and the results will exceed anything he may have hoped in his leaner and weaker days."
I think I struggle with showing people God's love. Perhaps it is because I haven't fully accepted it for myself. I know in my head that God loves me. I read it in the Bible, I hear it in church, I feel in shown in the lives of people around me. But think I have yet to believe, and fully understand the depth of God's love for me. In Ephesians it says to "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."(Ephesians 5:1-2).
As a child of God, I am called to live a life of love. It sounds so simple. I don't understand exactly why I struggle with the fact that God loved me so much that he gave his life, that I may live. I place so much value on the gifts and talents that God has given to other people, and I can't see them, or appreciate them in my own life. Perhaps it is because I see all the ugly stuff in my own life that I can't see in other people's lives. Why should God love me? I have rejected him, disowned him, devalued him, underappreciated him, misunderstood him, and ignored him. Tozer also said, "Thirsty hearts are those whose longings have been awakened by the touch of God within them." I want to truly accept the fact that God loves me. I feel his touch on my life, and I feel myself thirsting after Him, even though I don't always recognize it as God speaking to me. I have tried to fill these longings with other things, and it merely dull's them momentarily. It think it becomes harder to respond to God when one has pushed him aside as frquently as I have. I feel broken and empty. What better time than now to accept God's love unending love for me.