This dude has the most oddly calming influence on my psyche. And that is before he even sings a note. Possibly the mention of used bookstores and poetry are enough to bring feelings of comfort and beauty to my heart.

To do List:
*warm shower
*pajamas
*ginger tea
*blankets


it is still winter.

Stuck

A high wind velocity and blowing snow seems to have blocked my efforts to get back to Winnipeg after my Otterburne spent weekend, and so I am spending an unforseen snow day on the Providence campus. How exciting. I am currently in the collegium, the place where the cool commuter students hang (except no one is hanging, cause classes are canceled). Sasha made me some wicked coffee and gave me candy, and so life is good...and Jennie is hyper.

Too hyper to sit and concentrate on homework assignments of course.

There are board games and duplo in the commtuer lounge. And big comfy chairs, and pictures of retro sunsets on the walls. Why did I not spend more time here before?

If it was up to me I would most likely be a country dweller. Quiet walks in nature, with the wind tossing my body back and forth across the highway as if I were a rag doll. Ahh, peace is truly found in the middle of nowhere.

Another Post.

I seem to be remarkably technologically inclined these days.

Oh yes. I am procrastinating.

I just wanted to share my delight with this musical experience...

Look! A free download! Check out Postdata.

"We all grow old, use your life, the world goes and flutters by
Use your life, you'll know you are
Use your life, the world goes and flutters by"
Jonsi Birgisson

Today I saw light. True, pure, shining light. It engulfed me in its warmth.

Joy, relief, understanding! To feel understood is a precious gift.

I have been struggling the last few months to reconnect with my initial desire to enter the social worker field, and due to feelings of utter inadequacy, panic, and stress, I have not been in a happy place. No. Not happy. A very sad, lonely little duck.

But today. I'm not sure what. But something happened. A click. A movement. A push? A meaningful conversation with my supervisor whose words seemed to resonate so clearly with the insecurities, and frustrations that I have been feeling for so long. A word of encouragement has reminded me of my initial desire to be an agent of healing. A part of the journey in people's life. Not a mountain mover. Not a world changer. Just a link. An imperfect link. But an important link. On someone's chain of healing.

This moment of enlightenment did not come in my darkest moment like a white knight coming to rescue me. Those moments of actualized idealism are rare I am learning. But it came. And I am grateful.

Today I am...

...Slightly elated about life after eating a yummy sandwich of toasted naan bread, alfalfa sprouts, cheddar cheese, and red pepper, and drinking a hot mug of Lady Grey Tea.

...Disgruntled that my houseplants seem to be infested with some kind of fruit fly, and the dish soup I am feeding them to kill off the flies seems to be turning the leaves yellow and withered (NOTE: don't believe everything the internet tells you.)

...Confused about my swollen eyelids that seem to be the aftereffects of watching Avatar last night. No, I did not cry...oddly enough. Although the scene when Home Tree fell over was rather heart wrenching. Everything seems rather er, emotional at 1:30 in the morning after a 15 hour day of work.

...Thinking about learning some type of martial arts after hearing a conversation on the bus between two guys who professed their blunt opinion that they think it is safest to assume that all women are dumb and dim-witted until proven otherwise. Sigh.

...Listening to my lil' playlist on CBC radio 3's website...you should make your own!!!

...About to head to my Crisis Intervention class, in which we are learning how to deal with people in crisis. Obviously.

...Bouncing around my room to The Wooden Sky. "It still means a lot to meeee!"

...Thinking yet again about the uncertainty of my future. BC or Winnipeg. Hmmm. Tough decision. Apparently I gotta be there.

"we break and then we go,
and we try, we try to stay hopeful,
but it seems the more we learn the less we know..."
-Parlour Steps

It's Official

I have passed all my courses so far. Phew. With trembling fingers and a pounding vein, I tore open the envelope and discovered that I can go forth with the knowledge that I kicked last semester in the ASS...or maybe the hamstring region. Sigh. This is a good feeling.

And so a new semester has begun. I am already behind on my assignments, but I have a little more confidence that I just might make it to graduation.

My current study music.