Thursday, January 21, 2010

Today I saw light. True, pure, shining light. It engulfed me in its warmth.

Joy, relief, understanding! To feel understood is a precious gift.

I have been struggling the last few months to reconnect with my initial desire to enter the social worker field, and due to feelings of utter inadequacy, panic, and stress, I have not been in a happy place. No. Not happy. A very sad, lonely little duck.

But today. I'm not sure what. But something happened. A click. A movement. A push? A meaningful conversation with my supervisor whose words seemed to resonate so clearly with the insecurities, and frustrations that I have been feeling for so long. A word of encouragement has reminded me of my initial desire to be an agent of healing. A part of the journey in people's life. Not a mountain mover. Not a world changer. Just a link. An imperfect link. But an important link. On someone's chain of healing.

This moment of enlightenment did not come in my darkest moment like a white knight coming to rescue me. Those moments of actualized idealism are rare I am learning. But it came. And I am grateful.

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