Well, I have a slight headache. I realize that at this moment, sleep is my best option, but while my body is complaining with weariness, my mind seems to moving at this pretty intense speed. I have learned that at these moments, it is best to go with the flow, and follow the inspiration. Except I don't have any inspiring words....just random thoughts that keep bumping around my brain. Sigh.
I have been thinking that I have gifts. They are not easily definable ones. But they are there, I'm sure of it. And I want to use them, but I don't know how....yet. There is some stuff going on with my church, particularly with the youth. And I am frustrated. There is so much need, but I don't know where I belong. In this case, it is not really that the workers are few, but rather that the work is very messy and complicated and difficult to do.
I have also been thinking about how lately I have been struggling with two things, 1. PRIDE and 2. FEELING TOO HARD (aka being too sensitive). The pride thing is something that I thought I didn't really have too much of a problem with. I thought I was actually pretty humble. But lately things, I don't know what exactly, have been happening, that have been making me aware that I care deeply how my actions may appear to other people. I want to look perfect and cool and HUMBLE! Kinda ironic. And the feeling stuff is really quite annoying. I wish I didn't care what people think, and I could live my life being calm and confident all the time. But I care...so deeply about certain things that it scares me. It is really rather exhausting.
Here's my last thought...it is a good one. I can't remember, errrg. ummm. well....no...hmmmmm.
Darn it. My mind is completely blank. I suppose I should sleep then. This thought really was quite brilliant though...