Bedtime

A Dream of Trees by Mary Oliver
There is a thing in me that dreamed of trees,
A quiet house, some green and modest acres
A little way from every troubling town,
A little way from factories, schools, laments.
I would have time, I thought, and time to spare,
With only streams and birds for company.
To build out of my life a few wild stanzas.
And then it came to me, that so was death,
A little way away from everywhere.

There is a thing in me still dreams of trees,
But let it go. Homesick for moderation,
Half the world’s artists shrink or fall away.
If any find solution, let him tell it.
Meanwhile I bend my heart toward lamentation
Where, as the times implore our true involvement,
The blades of every crisis point the way.

I would it were not so, but so it is.
Who ever made music of a mild day?

I'm ordering seeds for my garden this spring. Zinnias, petunias, morning glory, cosmos. I ache for the warmth of spring. I feel tired and apathetic these days. Where has your hope gone, self? What happened to your happy spirit and joyous words? Why are you sad tonight, daughter of many blessings? So your life feels hard...well, whoever made music of a mild day? When I am exhausted and overwhelmed and scared I withdraw. I retreat. I seek some sort of refuge that looks very similar to Mary's quiet house with trees and peace. But to escape would be to miss out on a beauteous melody and I don't want that.