It is the last day of November which means many things:
1.I need to buy a new bus pass
2.I am ridiculously behind on my assignments
3.It is time to prepare for the Christmas season (hence the arrival of the Christmas music).
4. I get to open my chocolate advent calendar tomorrow
5. And...EGGNOG!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Today after I got home from practicum, I sat down on our cushy couch with my hot chocolate, opened my email, and found a picture of a poorly neglected plant that has sat on my bookshelf in my BC home for about 6 years. 5 of those years I have not been home to water it, so when I come home for Christmas or in the summer, I give it a little water. I never expected this plant to flower. Or thrive. Or live for that matter.
But, little did I know that despite my neglectful ways, this plant has managed to bloom beautifully. There is an applicable lesson in here somewhere. I'm sure of it.
Here is my lil' Christmas Cactus, all grown up and pretty.
I see THREE blooms. A miracle.
Sigh.
May we be like the Christmas Cactus and bloom despite the exhaustion, and fear, and pain, and insecurities.
There. A lesson.
But, little did I know that despite my neglectful ways, this plant has managed to bloom beautifully. There is an applicable lesson in here somewhere. I'm sure of it.
Here is my lil' Christmas Cactus, all grown up and pretty.
I see THREE blooms. A miracle.
Sigh.
May we be like the Christmas Cactus and bloom despite the exhaustion, and fear, and pain, and insecurities.
There. A lesson.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
I am going home for Christmas.
All the cheesy Christmas tunes about going home for the holidays have been tromping through my brain this week.
I'm excited for a number of reasons, but mostly because being with my family is like taking a step into this world of being. Just being. And really good coffee.
Sigh...
NOTE: Prepare yourself for the Christmas playlist. Coming soon to a blog near you (aka this one)
Wow, look at me perpetuating the cycle of Christmas consumerism.
Ho ho ho.
Things that are worth noting:
a.) Sufjan knows how to boogie.
b.) The White Stripes provide remarkably good bus music in my opinion. Something about their groove just fits the stopping and starting motion of the bus.
c.) I have a 75% chance of working in child welfare when I graduate.
d.) Self-care is a beautiful illusion that I cannot make a reality.
e.) To make myself feel better I have started creating goals that are achievable, such as waking up in the morning.
All the cheesy Christmas tunes about going home for the holidays have been tromping through my brain this week.
I'm excited for a number of reasons, but mostly because being with my family is like taking a step into this world of being. Just being. And really good coffee.
Sigh...
NOTE: Prepare yourself for the Christmas playlist. Coming soon to a blog near you (aka this one)
Wow, look at me perpetuating the cycle of Christmas consumerism.
Ho ho ho.
Things that are worth noting:
a.) Sufjan knows how to boogie.
b.) The White Stripes provide remarkably good bus music in my opinion. Something about their groove just fits the stopping and starting motion of the bus.
c.) I have a 75% chance of working in child welfare when I graduate.
d.) Self-care is a beautiful illusion that I cannot make a reality.
e.) To make myself feel better I have started creating goals that are achievable, such as waking up in the morning.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
If I were a bird I wouldn't have to do homework
I were the bird
by Rose Cousins
Seabird soaring weightless above the sea
wings wide for the wind to rush underneath
open arms and everything to see
I wish I were the bird and it were me
High white waves as the ocean churns
Rushing the shoreline under the bird
Nothing is settled, everything is stirred
She is like me and I’m like her
Seabird soaring high looks so free
Baring its heart to the world it would seem
flying alone all day does it dream
That I were the bird and it were me
by Rose Cousins
Seabird soaring weightless above the sea
wings wide for the wind to rush underneath
open arms and everything to see
I wish I were the bird and it were me
High white waves as the ocean churns
Rushing the shoreline under the bird
Nothing is settled, everything is stirred
She is like me and I’m like her
Seabird soaring high looks so free
Baring its heart to the world it would seem
flying alone all day does it dream
That I were the bird and it were me
Monday, November 09, 2009
Today is Monday
Currently Listening to: Stars "Undertow"
Current Perspective: Relatively content with the uncertainty.
Currently Reading: Little Women
Today I feel that there is so much to say, and I have such little ability to express myself.
Autumn always makes me think of the things that I am partial to.
-strawberry ice cream
-Markéta Irglová's artistic expressions
-+10 temperatures in mid-November
-My candles
-ginger
-My blankets
-Going to bed early
-hats
-babies
-Going to the impaired driving unit knowing that I do not have to be there.
-goat cheese
-Lady Grey Tea
-Celebrating the 24 years of my roommate's life.
Current Perspective: Relatively content with the uncertainty.
Currently Reading: Little Women
Today I feel that there is so much to say, and I have such little ability to express myself.
Autumn always makes me think of the things that I am partial to.
-strawberry ice cream
-Markéta Irglová's artistic expressions
-+10 temperatures in mid-November
-My candles
-ginger
-My blankets
-Going to bed early
-hats
-babies
-Going to the impaired driving unit knowing that I do not have to be there.
-goat cheese
-Lady Grey Tea
-Celebrating the 24 years of my roommate's life.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I like underdogs
GO PHILLIES!!! Beat those yanks.
That's right. I follow baseball. Just another one of my many charms.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The longing of the tired student
Have You Ever Tried to Enter the Long Black Branches
by Mary Oliver
"...Who can open the door who does not reach for the latch?
Who can travel the miles who does not put one foot
in front of the other, all attentive to what presents itself
continually?
Who will behold the inner chamber who has not observed
with admiration, even with rapture, the outer stone?
Well, there is time left -
fields everywhere invite you into them.
And who will care, who will chide you if you wander away
from wherever you are, to look for your soul?
Quickly, then, get up, put on your coat, leave your desk!
To put one's foot into the door of the grass, which is
the mystery, which is death as well as life, and
not be afraid!
To set one's foot in the door of death, and be overcome
with amazement!
To sit down in front of the weeds, and imagine
god the ten-fingered, sailing out of his house of straw,
nodding this way and that way, to the flowers of the
present hour,
to the song falling out of the mockingbird's pink mouth,
to the tippets of the honeysuckle, that have opened
in the night
To sit down, like a weed among weeds, and rustle in the wind!
Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?
While the soul, after all, is only a window,
and the opening of the window no more difficult
than the wakening from a little sleep.
Only last week I went out among the thorns and said
to the wild roses:
deny me not,
but suffer my devotion.
Then, all afternoon, I sat among them. Maybe
I even heard a curl or tow of music, damp and rouge red,
hurrying from their stubby buds, from their delicate watery bodies.
For how long will you continue to listen to those dark shouters,
caution and prudence?
Fall in! Fall in!
A woman standing in the weeds.
A small boat flounders in the deep waves, and what's coming next
is coming with its own heave and grace.
Meanwhile, once in a while, I have chanced, among the quick things,
upon the immutable.
What more could one ask?
And I would touch the faces of the daises,
and I would bow down
to think about it.
That was then, which hasn't ended yet.
Now the sun begins to swing down. Under the peach-light,
I cross the fields and the dunes, I follow the ocean's edge.
I climb, I backtrack.
I float.
I ramble my way home."
by Mary Oliver
"...Who can open the door who does not reach for the latch?
Who can travel the miles who does not put one foot
in front of the other, all attentive to what presents itself
continually?
Who will behold the inner chamber who has not observed
with admiration, even with rapture, the outer stone?
Well, there is time left -
fields everywhere invite you into them.
And who will care, who will chide you if you wander away
from wherever you are, to look for your soul?
Quickly, then, get up, put on your coat, leave your desk!
To put one's foot into the door of the grass, which is
the mystery, which is death as well as life, and
not be afraid!
To set one's foot in the door of death, and be overcome
with amazement!
To sit down in front of the weeds, and imagine
god the ten-fingered, sailing out of his house of straw,
nodding this way and that way, to the flowers of the
present hour,
to the song falling out of the mockingbird's pink mouth,
to the tippets of the honeysuckle, that have opened
in the night
To sit down, like a weed among weeds, and rustle in the wind!
Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?
While the soul, after all, is only a window,
and the opening of the window no more difficult
than the wakening from a little sleep.
Only last week I went out among the thorns and said
to the wild roses:
deny me not,
but suffer my devotion.
Then, all afternoon, I sat among them. Maybe
I even heard a curl or tow of music, damp and rouge red,
hurrying from their stubby buds, from their delicate watery bodies.
For how long will you continue to listen to those dark shouters,
caution and prudence?
Fall in! Fall in!
A woman standing in the weeds.
A small boat flounders in the deep waves, and what's coming next
is coming with its own heave and grace.
Meanwhile, once in a while, I have chanced, among the quick things,
upon the immutable.
What more could one ask?
And I would touch the faces of the daises,
and I would bow down
to think about it.
That was then, which hasn't ended yet.
Now the sun begins to swing down. Under the peach-light,
I cross the fields and the dunes, I follow the ocean's edge.
I climb, I backtrack.
I float.
I ramble my way home."
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Because I dislike school and need to remind myself about the good stuff...
...Here is a list of things that I have been enjoying lately:
1. Listening to The Acorn.
2. The soggy leaves that have strewn across the road.
3. Wearing scarves.
4. Drinking black tea with milk and a little honey.
5. Holding a warm mug in my hands.
6. Admiring the neighbors' carved pumpkins.
7. Admiring The Avett Brothers. In case you need a visual:
8. My art work.
9. My good health.
10. Melancholy moments.
11. Enjoying the company of some good people.
12. Breathing. Yes. This is nice.
13. Taking a few moments to just sit and think.
14. Thinking of hilarious puns about drugs that seem to pop up everywhere including church. "Taking a trip" ahahahaha.
...Here is a list of things that I have been enjoying lately:
1. Listening to The Acorn.
2. The soggy leaves that have strewn across the road.
3. Wearing scarves.
4. Drinking black tea with milk and a little honey.
5. Holding a warm mug in my hands.
6. Admiring the neighbors' carved pumpkins.
7. Admiring The Avett Brothers. In case you need a visual:
8. My art work.
9. My good health.
10. Melancholy moments.
11. Enjoying the company of some good people.
12. Breathing. Yes. This is nice.
13. Taking a few moments to just sit and think.
14. Thinking of hilarious puns about drugs that seem to pop up everywhere including church. "Taking a trip" ahahahaha.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
After a night and a day of driving, I am back in Winnipeg. Being home was wonderful and sunny and crisp...and I pretty much sat on the couch writing papers the whole time. Funny how school can just weasle into your holdiay...BUT...enough talk of that painful subject.
I must say that I rather enjoyed the drive to and from Nelson. Lots of opportunity for thinking and being quiet with those thoughts, and the fall colours weren't bad either. I did have a rather hilarious experience during an early morning turn that I took to drive when the white painted lines on the road started to peel off the pavement and do little dances. I termed this experience as exhaustion induced hallucinations. Although it could also be due to a mental disorder caused by writing too many papers...food for thought, professors, food for thought.
I did take a couple of breaks in between the stupid papers to go apple picking, apple juicing, and of course to eat the beautiful meal of delight on Sunday. And here I digress to marvel over the food that was consumed. Turkey, mashed potatoes (from my mom's garden), carrots and beans (also from the garden), stuffing that my sister is famous for, homemade cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, AND homemade apple and pumpkin pie. mmmmm.
And now, here I sit. I am in the library trying to organize my life which includes contacting student loans who seem to have forgotton about my application, figuring out what assigment is due next, and refurbishing my school notebooks, which seem to be full of handouts that need to be hole-punched.
Life is beautiful.
I must say that I rather enjoyed the drive to and from Nelson. Lots of opportunity for thinking and being quiet with those thoughts, and the fall colours weren't bad either. I did have a rather hilarious experience during an early morning turn that I took to drive when the white painted lines on the road started to peel off the pavement and do little dances. I termed this experience as exhaustion induced hallucinations. Although it could also be due to a mental disorder caused by writing too many papers...food for thought, professors, food for thought.
I did take a couple of breaks in between the stupid papers to go apple picking, apple juicing, and of course to eat the beautiful meal of delight on Sunday. And here I digress to marvel over the food that was consumed. Turkey, mashed potatoes (from my mom's garden), carrots and beans (also from the garden), stuffing that my sister is famous for, homemade cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, AND homemade apple and pumpkin pie. mmmmm.
And now, here I sit. I am in the library trying to organize my life which includes contacting student loans who seem to have forgotton about my application, figuring out what assigment is due next, and refurbishing my school notebooks, which seem to be full of handouts that need to be hole-punched.
Life is beautiful.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
I am still alive, just.
I have moved to a new house, a new neighborhood, and semi new roommates. I am sharing a room with Larisa, which pretty much sucks, but I'm dealing. She just brought me some tomato soup and crackers and massaged my shoulders, and I told her that I expect some cheesecake for dessert. I have said goodbye to the big, ugly green house in Wolseley. There was too much crime there anyways.
I like this new place. I feel a greater sense of peace, that is likely due to the fact that I am done moving.
Good Story: On Friday in my social welfare class, I was mildly chewing on the end of my pen (NOTE: It bothers me when other people chew on their pens, and I forget that I have tendencies to do the same)...when out of the blue my hand, or head (not sure which) gave a mighty jerk (definitely not a result of nearly falling asleep) and the pen created a small crevice in my mouth which has now developed into what is scientifically known as a cankersore. I hate cankersores. They come at really bad times. Like when you are stressed.
I am trying to write a reflection paper for practicum. I am stuck at the first question: What was your goal for these past two weeks at practicum? All I can think of is that I hoped to abstain from running into the bathroom crying, but that sounds rather un-social workey. I think it will get better. Or not. Either way it is a great "learning experience!" Working with people who have addictions feels pretty daunting right now. There is only so much that a book or professor or power point can teach, and right now I am feeling like the big cat that lived in our garage and would mew mournfully like this: "Mehewwwwewwoooohhhhhh". He was feeling trapped by his circumstances, just like me.
I am slowly figuring out the bus system. I have only been late for work once so far, and I think that I am getting better at walking onto the bus without falling over when the bus driver pulls away. Ironically, I am enjoying public transit. My bus pass feels like a golden ticket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, with special powers. I just flash it at the driver and he nods his head and away we go. Kind of miraculous.
On Tuesday after an orientation at the Methadone Clinic and a desperate attempt at finding resources for my papers, I am departing this city for a road trip HOME for Thanksgiving! I love being home in the Autumn season. I get to help my dad with firewood, and make apple juice in the ol' apple press and drink rooibos chai with my mom. Pure bliss.
I like this new place. I feel a greater sense of peace, that is likely due to the fact that I am done moving.
Good Story: On Friday in my social welfare class, I was mildly chewing on the end of my pen (NOTE: It bothers me when other people chew on their pens, and I forget that I have tendencies to do the same)...when out of the blue my hand, or head (not sure which) gave a mighty jerk (definitely not a result of nearly falling asleep) and the pen created a small crevice in my mouth which has now developed into what is scientifically known as a cankersore. I hate cankersores. They come at really bad times. Like when you are stressed.
I am trying to write a reflection paper for practicum. I am stuck at the first question: What was your goal for these past two weeks at practicum? All I can think of is that I hoped to abstain from running into the bathroom crying, but that sounds rather un-social workey. I think it will get better. Or not. Either way it is a great "learning experience!" Working with people who have addictions feels pretty daunting right now. There is only so much that a book or professor or power point can teach, and right now I am feeling like the big cat that lived in our garage and would mew mournfully like this: "Mehewwwwewwoooohhhhhh". He was feeling trapped by his circumstances, just like me.
I am slowly figuring out the bus system. I have only been late for work once so far, and I think that I am getting better at walking onto the bus without falling over when the bus driver pulls away. Ironically, I am enjoying public transit. My bus pass feels like a golden ticket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, with special powers. I just flash it at the driver and he nods his head and away we go. Kind of miraculous.
On Tuesday after an orientation at the Methadone Clinic and a desperate attempt at finding resources for my papers, I am departing this city for a road trip HOME for Thanksgiving! I love being home in the Autumn season. I get to help my dad with firewood, and make apple juice in the ol' apple press and drink rooibos chai with my mom. Pure bliss.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
A lot of moving
A lot of moving indeed. In fact, I have accomplished approximately 1/16th of the packing/cleaning on my to-do list. It has been a productive day to be sure.
Today is free day. Free day is a day when people can put stuff they don't want on their front lawns and people can come and take what they want. It was a very exciting event in our household. We are very dedicated to recycling household items, and we ran around the house looking for items to place outside, and then we peeked out through the curtains at the flocks of people who gathered to paw through our stuff and remark at the amazing items that house #753 was giving away. We were so popular, that people were calling their friends on their cell phones and urging them to make the journey to our little pile. Our popularity was likely due to the variety of valuable items which included pepto bismal, a fish tank with genuine fish sludge, and a cassette tape of "A Bug's Life."
I gave away an old winter jacket that I bought for my first winter in Manitoba. It is bright green with white, pink and black stripes. I watched as a very stylish young gentleman with cool shorts picked up my jacket, tried it on, pondered the implications, and walked away with his stellar find. I should have left my phone number in the pocket. Oh hindsight.
I have been blessed in my life to have lived in the same place for 16 years of my life, and moving efficiently has never been a learned skill of mine. It is a painful process of discovering priorities, in order to avoid repetitive labouring.
I am avoiding tackling my bedroom. It is my sanctuary. My refuge of peace, that if tainted and boxed up, will destroy the last shreds of my sanity. I guess it was overdo to be shredded anyway. Here's to shredding...and sleeping (If my over caffeinated body will allow it).
Goodnight all! I hope you are enjoying your weekend as much as I am enjoying mine.
Today is free day. Free day is a day when people can put stuff they don't want on their front lawns and people can come and take what they want. It was a very exciting event in our household. We are very dedicated to recycling household items, and we ran around the house looking for items to place outside, and then we peeked out through the curtains at the flocks of people who gathered to paw through our stuff and remark at the amazing items that house #753 was giving away. We were so popular, that people were calling their friends on their cell phones and urging them to make the journey to our little pile. Our popularity was likely due to the variety of valuable items which included pepto bismal, a fish tank with genuine fish sludge, and a cassette tape of "A Bug's Life."
I gave away an old winter jacket that I bought for my first winter in Manitoba. It is bright green with white, pink and black stripes. I watched as a very stylish young gentleman with cool shorts picked up my jacket, tried it on, pondered the implications, and walked away with his stellar find. I should have left my phone number in the pocket. Oh hindsight.
I have been blessed in my life to have lived in the same place for 16 years of my life, and moving efficiently has never been a learned skill of mine. It is a painful process of discovering priorities, in order to avoid repetitive labouring.
I am avoiding tackling my bedroom. It is my sanctuary. My refuge of peace, that if tainted and boxed up, will destroy the last shreds of my sanity. I guess it was overdo to be shredded anyway. Here's to shredding...and sleeping (If my over caffeinated body will allow it).
Goodnight all! I hope you are enjoying your weekend as much as I am enjoying mine.
Friday, September 25, 2009
It's all about perspective
It is Friday at last, and I have a very exciting weekend planned. As opposed to my far less fortunate classmates, who are planning to go to Bird's Hill Park (not that great, i've been there), and Flin Flon (I mean, really?!) going out for coffee with friends (can you say 'typical?') and watching movies (its sad, actually). I am going to be at home, packing like a maniac. I am expecting that it will be a truly memorable weekend, filled with dust bunnies, and boxes of textbooks that weigh 5 million pounds. I will be gaining coveted muscle mass, as I lift those 5 million pound boxes. The anticipation is filling me with the jitters and the shakes (oh, wait, that is just the caffiene, or the fear of my own awesomness). At any rate, I am sure that this will be a two-day experience of a lifetime.
P.S. If you would like advice on a "cool" way to spend your weekend, I am accepting monetary offers of $50 and up for free personal advice. Hint: My advice will most likely include catching up on late homework assignments, listening to Beyonce while dancing on one's bed singing into your hairbrush ("...all the single ladies!"), or drinking vats of coffee to increase the feeling of invincibilty, reading about the conservative perspective on social welfare (the entertainment factor is mind blowing, oy!). There are endless possibilities all located within my little brain...sign up today (I accept cash and back massages).
P.S. If you would like advice on a "cool" way to spend your weekend, I am accepting monetary offers of $50 and up for free personal advice. Hint: My advice will most likely include catching up on late homework assignments, listening to Beyonce while dancing on one's bed singing into your hairbrush ("...all the single ladies!"), or drinking vats of coffee to increase the feeling of invincibilty, reading about the conservative perspective on social welfare (the entertainment factor is mind blowing, oy!). There are endless possibilities all located within my little brain...sign up today (I accept cash and back massages).
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I like my blankets...I don't like fire on people
This morning at approximately 4:30, I heard a bunch of sirens outside my window. I pushed the pillows over my head and tried to snuggle farther down into the covers. Today I read an article about a man who was lit on fire, outside of his house, which is across the alley from our house. Check it out.
Monday, September 21, 2009
A Picture
Beautiful Stephanie took this picture when she was visiting a couple weeks ago, and I am posting it to show off my flower pots, which are remnants of my gardening excursion this summer. I have already uprooted the garden plot, and eaten all the cherry tomatoes. The carrots were too tiny to eat because I was so busy I didn't have time to thin them out. I will do better next year.
CRAZY!
My life is a crazy mesh of events that seem to follow and overlap one another in odd succession.
My busy week largely consisted of a three day course entitled: "Fundamentals of Addictions" during which I sat next to the least sensitive person I have ever met, whose goal was to counsel celebrities who have addictions. She said quite seriously, "I think it will be very busy work." She had a litany of defensive statements regarding the death of Michael Jackson who didn't die of an overdose, but from an "overworked heart." At one point during this three day session, one of the attendees left the room in tears and when she returned to her seat, this person lacking-in-sensitivity leaned over and remarked, "I'm so stressed. I don't know how I'm going to get through this." As my great-aunt Annie would say, she was a very "odd duck."
I also attended a few classes this week, wrote two papers, worked two shifts at the library, and cried on the phone to my mommy.
However, the weekend consisted of such delightful things that as hard as I try, that scared feeling that the world is crashing down refused to linger.
On Friday, Janna and I played a rousing game of scrabble. Janna is brilliant. She gave me pointers and I still lost by 200 points. I suck at scrabble.
On Saturday, Katie and I went to Farm Fest, a delightful invention of music, food sunshine, and dancing, all on the premises of a Manitoban farm. The dancing was rather difficult, as I had a very full bladder, and being the odd one that I am, I have a strict aversion to porta-potties. I ended up using the two-hole out-house instead. Which is rather difficult in the dark. I almost missed the hole and was almost interrupted by some guy who wanted to show off the aesthetic delights of the tile and grouting in the outhouse to some girls. I missed this particular element of beauty, as it was pitch black and the overpowering smell was a little, well... overpowering.
Yesterday, Katie and I made Pizza.
It was a hard week that ended well.
Oh, and did I mention that I am moving in 8 days? Crazy. I feel crazy.
My busy week largely consisted of a three day course entitled: "Fundamentals of Addictions" during which I sat next to the least sensitive person I have ever met, whose goal was to counsel celebrities who have addictions. She said quite seriously, "I think it will be very busy work." She had a litany of defensive statements regarding the death of Michael Jackson who didn't die of an overdose, but from an "overworked heart." At one point during this three day session, one of the attendees left the room in tears and when she returned to her seat, this person lacking-in-sensitivity leaned over and remarked, "I'm so stressed. I don't know how I'm going to get through this." As my great-aunt Annie would say, she was a very "odd duck."
I also attended a few classes this week, wrote two papers, worked two shifts at the library, and cried on the phone to my mommy.
However, the weekend consisted of such delightful things that as hard as I try, that scared feeling that the world is crashing down refused to linger.
On Friday, Janna and I played a rousing game of scrabble. Janna is brilliant. She gave me pointers and I still lost by 200 points. I suck at scrabble.
On Saturday, Katie and I went to Farm Fest, a delightful invention of music, food sunshine, and dancing, all on the premises of a Manitoban farm. The dancing was rather difficult, as I had a very full bladder, and being the odd one that I am, I have a strict aversion to porta-potties. I ended up using the two-hole out-house instead. Which is rather difficult in the dark. I almost missed the hole and was almost interrupted by some guy who wanted to show off the aesthetic delights of the tile and grouting in the outhouse to some girls. I missed this particular element of beauty, as it was pitch black and the overpowering smell was a little, well... overpowering.
Yesterday, Katie and I made Pizza.
It was a hard week that ended well.
Oh, and did I mention that I am moving in 8 days? Crazy. I feel crazy.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Deliberating
Today is Labour Day. Ironically it is a day of rest before the work begins. I am taking a breath.
A deep breath.
A breath of life, laughter, and rest.
I am breathing the scent of cut grass, and ripening tomatoes, and beeswax candles.
I am aware of the year of work that I am about to embark upon. And today, I can state with a positive, trembling voice that it is going to be ok.
I hope.
May you who are also heading back to school or embarking upon new adventures this week feel the peace that surpasses all understanding and enjoy this day for what it is.
A deep breath.
A breath of life, laughter, and rest.
I am breathing the scent of cut grass, and ripening tomatoes, and beeswax candles.
I am aware of the year of work that I am about to embark upon. And today, I can state with a positive, trembling voice that it is going to be ok.
I hope.
May you who are also heading back to school or embarking upon new adventures this week feel the peace that surpasses all understanding and enjoy this day for what it is.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Notice
When loneliness comes stalking, go into the fields, consider
the orderliness of the world. Notice
something you have never noticed before,
like the tambourine sound of the snow-cricket
whose pale green body is no longer than your thumb.
Stare hard at the hummingbird, in the summer rain,
shaking the water-sparks from its wings.
Let grief be your sister, she will whether or no.
Rise up from the stump of sorrow, and be green also,
like the diligent leaves.
A lifetime isn't long enough for the beauty of this world
and the responsibilities of your life.
Scatter your flowers over the graves, and walk away.
Be good-natured and untidy in your exuberance.
In the glare of your mind, be modest.
And beholden to what is tactile, and thrilling.
Live with the beetle, and the wind.
Mary Oliver - Excerpt from her poem, "Flare"
Friday, September 04, 2009
Apologies for this (and other things)
Get ready for it...Self-awareness at its most blatant is circling the air in thick fumes and settling across my shoulders with a shudder of severe exaggeration and melodramatics.
After indulging in vast amounts of peanut butter and chocolate chips, I have spent the evening remarking upon this past week.
PLEASE NOTE: I am currently unemployed and waiting for the Tuesday to occur so that I will have finished at least one day of this dreaded school year. I am not usually this bitter towards academics, and I actually have a great deal of fondness for the scholastic institution, I am just having a moment. Hopefully a brief one.
FORMULATIONS:
1. I am pretty surprised that I am studying to be a social worker.
2. I am utterly and completely bereft of finances due to my lazy and procrastinistic nature, which is causing havoc with my ability to pay for the aforementioned schooling. Today I received a white scrap of paper with an obscene amount of money that represents a mere quarter of this fall's tuition. Ouch. I cannot even buy those beautiful prismacolour pencil crayons that are just sitting there useless in the store waiting for some rich person to snatch them up and give them to their five year old godson who will drop them on the floor, thus breaking the fragile lead encased within. hurmph.
3. I am a pretty foul friend, when all is said and done. I will not weasel my way our of this one, but I take full ownership, and merely state that I am still learning and developing. Even though I have a brain capacity similar to a pubescent, my intentions are sometimes good.
4. I like simplicity. I hate clutter. I hate mess. I hate useless knick knacks that have no meaning for my existence. I do not consider my 9 potted plants as clutter. They have a use in that they provide me with oxygen. When you live with 8 other people, you loose your oxygen much faster.
5. I can walk twice as fast in the summer than I can in mid-winter. I timed it today. Probably due to the fact that winter includes 2 factors such as wind and snow pants, both which can slow one down.
6. I like this band: Taken by Trees
Apologies for the sardonic nature of this post. It has been a long week.
After indulging in vast amounts of peanut butter and chocolate chips, I have spent the evening remarking upon this past week.
PLEASE NOTE: I am currently unemployed and waiting for the Tuesday to occur so that I will have finished at least one day of this dreaded school year. I am not usually this bitter towards academics, and I actually have a great deal of fondness for the scholastic institution, I am just having a moment. Hopefully a brief one.
FORMULATIONS:
1. I am pretty surprised that I am studying to be a social worker.
2. I am utterly and completely bereft of finances due to my lazy and procrastinistic nature, which is causing havoc with my ability to pay for the aforementioned schooling. Today I received a white scrap of paper with an obscene amount of money that represents a mere quarter of this fall's tuition. Ouch. I cannot even buy those beautiful prismacolour pencil crayons that are just sitting there useless in the store waiting for some rich person to snatch them up and give them to their five year old godson who will drop them on the floor, thus breaking the fragile lead encased within. hurmph.
3. I am a pretty foul friend, when all is said and done. I will not weasel my way our of this one, but I take full ownership, and merely state that I am still learning and developing. Even though I have a brain capacity similar to a pubescent, my intentions are sometimes good.
4. I like simplicity. I hate clutter. I hate mess. I hate useless knick knacks that have no meaning for my existence. I do not consider my 9 potted plants as clutter. They have a use in that they provide me with oxygen. When you live with 8 other people, you loose your oxygen much faster.
5. I can walk twice as fast in the summer than I can in mid-winter. I timed it today. Probably due to the fact that winter includes 2 factors such as wind and snow pants, both which can slow one down.
6. I like this band: Taken by Trees
Apologies for the sardonic nature of this post. It has been a long week.
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